Rachel Druckenmiller a national thought leader in the field of employee engagement and wellbeing has facilitated 300 plus virtual learning experiences in the last two years alone.
Rachel Druckenmiller’s Biography
She’s the daughter of two entrepreneurs and has worked with organizations like Sherwin-Williams, Citizens Bank, the Federal Aviation Administration, and the American Heart Association. She’s facilitated over 300 virtual learning experiences since March of 2020.
Recognized by Forbes, The Daily Record, WELCOA, and Workforce Magazine as an award-winning keynote speaker, facilitator, and entrepreneur, she is on a mission to help leaders and teams thrive and be fully alive.
She’s married to her college sweetheart, Bill. She sang with the band at her best friend’s wedding and loves a good dance party or karaoke night.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn…
- Recalibrating and Resetting, what do those two terms mean?
- What’s normal today, six months from now might shift again.
- How to acknowledge that life will continue to change.
- Who gets the best of you and who gets what’s left of you?
- The importance of going for it and being willing to live a life. Even if it means a life of rejection.
Quotables
- “I think we’re reluctant to do it because we pride ourselves on our usefulness and what we’re checking
off our to-do list.” Rachel Druckenmiller - “The familiar is kinda like we talked about last time, burned out, exhausted, or, you know, overdone,
not stopping, focused on achievement and accomplishment.” Rachel Druckenmiller - “I think so, so much of our hesitation is because it interferes with and interrupts belief we have about
ourselves that our value comes from when we’re doing, and our value does not come from when we are resting and pausing and stopping.” Rachel Druckenmiller
Links & Resources Mentioned…
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelbdruckenmiller/
- LinkedIn Newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/unmute-yourself-6862381507273605120/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unmutedlife/
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/racheldruckenmiller
- Facebook: http://facebook.com/unmutedllc
00:00:00.308 --> 00:00:02.891
(upbeat music)
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- Welcome back to the "Get
Unstuck and On Target" Podcast.
00:00:08.550 --> 00:00:10.980
I'm Mike O'Neill with Bench Builders
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and we help growing companies,
00:00:12.840 --> 00:00:16.710
especially manufacturers,
improve their people, process,
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and planning systems so they
can scale smarter and faster.
00:00:21.840 --> 00:00:25.170
Joining me again is Rachel Druckenmiller.
00:00:25.170 --> 00:00:27.630
Rachel is the founder of Unmuted.
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She's a national thought
leader in the field of employee
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engagement and wellbeing,
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and she has facilitated
300 plus virtual learning
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experiences in the last two years alone.
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Rachel is a keynote speaker,
workshop facilitator,
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and a leadership trainer.
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Let me keep bragging on her.
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Last year in 2021,
00:00:47.940 --> 00:00:52.920
Rachel was recognized by
Forbes as a Next 1000 Honoree.
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Rachel has been featured on many podcasts
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and I'm so pleased
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that she was able to
come and join us again.
00:00:59.400 --> 00:01:01.020
Welcome back, Rachel.
00:01:01.020 --> 00:01:01.853
- Oh, thanks Mike.
00:01:01.853 --> 00:01:04.470
We always have, I have to say,
the podcast we did last time
00:01:04.470 --> 00:01:07.721
around, "The Engaged Exhausted,"
is still one of the most,
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one of the podcasts that
I've been on that I share
00:01:10.830 --> 00:01:14.040
most frequently because it was,
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you just ask such great questions
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and it was a wonderful conversation
that was super relevant,
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so thanks for being so
good at what you do.
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- Well, thank you.
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You know, can you believe
that has been over a year
00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:28.590
since we've recorded that podcast?
00:01:28.590 --> 00:01:29.640
- No. (laughing)
00:01:29.640 --> 00:01:31.650
- My goodness and for
those who are listening,
00:01:31.650 --> 00:01:33.990
we're recording this the very 1st of May,
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so it'll probably be into
June before this might
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would be made available,
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but that topic that we
discussed last time,
00:01:41.539 --> 00:01:44.730
it pretty much informs
what you and I discussed
00:01:44.730 --> 00:01:47.640
as what we should pick up on.
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And so we've kind of
entitled this episode,
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Recalibrating and Resetting,
Navigating the Next Normals.
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So why don't we just
break that title down.
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Rachel, when you
volunteered that as a title,
00:02:02.460 --> 00:02:05.310
Recalibrating and Resetting,
let's start with that.
00:02:05.310 --> 00:02:07.692
What do those two terms mean to you?
00:02:07.692 --> 00:02:09.660
- Well, you know, I think,
00:02:09.660 --> 00:02:12.409
I think in the midst of so
much change and uncertainty,
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there's a need at a certain
point to sort of press
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a pause button or press the reset button
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and to do some reflection,
00:02:23.880 --> 00:02:27.360
to take an inventory of
what's working and what's not,
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to apply that to both our
professional lives, our careers,
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and also to our life outside of that,
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and to even give ourselves an experience
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of rest and respite,
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because in the midst of so much change,
00:02:43.380 --> 00:02:46.083
in the midst of so much
stress and tension,
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I think it's really important
that we take a moment
00:02:48.750 --> 00:02:51.540
to even step away from that
sometimes a weekend away,
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sometimes a true weekend off,
which I don't know about,
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you know, everyone listening,
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but sometimes I feel like there's
some part of every weekend
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where I'm doing some part of work.
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I mean, being an entrepreneur,
00:03:02.370 --> 00:03:04.920
I feel like that's can
sometimes come with a territory,
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but you know,
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to really take a true
break and to recalibrate.
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So I'll give you an example
of a recent recalibration.
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My husband and I,
- Please.
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we went away for Easter and
we visited friends of ours
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in Ohio that used to
live, they lived near us.
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They were neighbor like, you know,
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five minutes away for 10 to 12 years.
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Very, very good friends.
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They've got three kids and
they moved back home to Ohio
00:03:27.450 --> 00:03:28.841
just before the pandemic started.
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And the guy was, you know,
my husband, one of his,
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I'd say his local, his
best friend locally,
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and so just really, really big loss.
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He was in our wedding, you
know, to have them move,
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and so we decided, I had
to be in Cleveland for work
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the following week and
they live a half hour
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from where I had to be, so we were like,
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"Well, why don't we just
go there for Easter?"
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And we had three days at their house,
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and (chuckling) we made meals together,
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we played games, we watched "Sing 2,"
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and "Ted Lasso"
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and played basketball, some
of the guys went golfing.
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We had, we just caught up.
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We had time to just be with each other
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and to not feel rushed.
00:04:09.750 --> 00:04:11.820
We didn't have to be
anywhere else other than
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where we were in that moment.
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We were there for their
four year old daughter's
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just birthday party with family.
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They had just kind of a small gathering,
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and, we, you know, played
some games the last night
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we were there,
00:04:24.773 --> 00:04:27.450
just the adults and laughed
so hard our stomachs hurt.
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I mean, truly, those,
00:04:28.560 --> 00:04:31.500
I feel like those moments of
laughter are unfortunately more
00:04:31.500 --> 00:04:36.500
rare than I'd like to admit,
but I left that weekend.
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And the next day I was
talking to my business coach
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and I said, he noticed, he
commented on kind of my demeanor.
00:04:41.850 --> 00:04:46.687
And he said, "You know, I
can just sense that there's
00:04:46.687 --> 00:04:48.840
"something really kind of
different about your energy."
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And I told him what happened.
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And he said, "What I'm sensing
is the sense of Shalom,"
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which Shalom meaning peace,
00:04:54.540 --> 00:04:56.820
but also meaning from his perspective,
00:04:56.820 --> 00:04:59.100
nothing missing, nothing broken.
00:04:59.100 --> 00:04:59.933
- Hmm.
00:05:01.620 --> 00:05:02.453
- And that's how I felt.
00:05:02.453 --> 00:05:06.150
And that was, for me, that
was like a recalibration
00:05:06.150 --> 00:05:10.710
and a reset that I had by
sometimes it helps to remove
00:05:10.710 --> 00:05:14.550
ourselves from our normal
environment in order
00:05:14.550 --> 00:05:16.597
to recalibrate and reset.
00:05:16.597 --> 00:05:18.990
Sometimes it involves, you know,
00:05:18.990 --> 00:05:20.943
spending time with other
people and so that,
00:05:20.943 --> 00:05:23.940
that was just an example of one, you know,
00:05:23.940 --> 00:05:24.990
three day experience.
00:05:26.070 --> 00:05:28.350
- We're only halfway through the title,
00:05:28.350 --> 00:05:29.790
but let's go back to something.
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You said, "Hit the pause button."
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- Yeah.
00:05:33.233 --> 00:05:35.850
- And so we are recording this on Zoom.
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When you look at the bottom,
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you see all these icons at the bottom,
00:05:39.660 --> 00:05:43.263
but one of 'em is pause/stop.
00:05:44.250 --> 00:05:46.710
We, every single day, if
you're recording something,
00:05:46.710 --> 00:05:50.490
we can just hit that button
and it just does it for you.
00:05:50.490 --> 00:05:54.240
What is it about you? What about me?
00:05:54.240 --> 00:05:58.410
What is it about us that
hitting the pause button,
00:05:58.410 --> 00:06:00.333
we're so reluctant to do so?
00:06:01.920 --> 00:06:04.590
- I think, I think we don't,
00:06:04.590 --> 00:06:09.480
I think we're reluctant to do
it because we pride ourselves
00:06:09.480 --> 00:06:12.660
on our usefulness
00:06:12.660 --> 00:06:16.950
and what we're checking
off our to-do list.
00:06:16.950 --> 00:06:21.630
And so a pause would require
us to not be in that place
00:06:21.630 --> 00:06:25.020
of doing, and sometimes
that place of doing,
00:06:25.020 --> 00:06:27.480
even if it's exhausting is
familiar and comfortable.
00:06:27.480 --> 00:06:28.890
And so generally speaking,
00:06:28.890 --> 00:06:31.206
humans gravitate toward the familiar.
00:06:31.206 --> 00:06:33.300
And so for many of us,
00:06:33.300 --> 00:06:35.970
the familiar is kinda like
we talked about last time,
00:06:35.970 --> 00:06:39.210
burned out, exhausted,
or, you know, overdone,
00:06:39.210 --> 00:06:44.100
not stopping, focused on
achievement and accomplishment.
00:06:44.100 --> 00:06:46.530
And so we don't take the time
to pause because essentially
00:06:46.530 --> 00:06:50.520
what it does is it interrupts
our sense of identity
00:06:50.520 --> 00:06:53.760
of I'm not someone who pauses
and stops and slows down.
00:06:53.760 --> 00:06:55.743
I'm somebody who keeps
going and pushes through.
00:06:55.743 --> 00:06:57.900
And so I think for part of it,
00:06:57.900 --> 00:06:59.477
it can be almost this interruption,
00:06:59.477 --> 00:07:02.100
this dissonance with how we see ourselves,
00:07:02.100 --> 00:07:05.130
of other people have time
to do that, that's a luxury.
00:07:05.130 --> 00:07:06.600
And for some people, it
might not be a luxury.
00:07:06.600 --> 00:07:09.088
Like if somebody's a single
mom or they've got, you know,
00:07:09.088 --> 00:07:12.420
they're caregiving for
somebody and they're living
00:07:12.420 --> 00:07:14.596
paycheck to paycheck, the
reality is for some people,
00:07:14.596 --> 00:07:18.000
there may not, it may be harder for them.
00:07:18.000 --> 00:07:22.240
And I think everybody has the
capacity at a bare minimum
00:07:23.340 --> 00:07:25.080
to pause long enough
00:07:25.080 --> 00:07:27.270
to reach out to somebody that they know
00:07:27.270 --> 00:07:29.760
and say, "Hey, do you
have a minute to talk?"
00:07:29.760 --> 00:07:31.147
Or "I'm dealing with this thing,
00:07:31.147 --> 00:07:32.167
"I'm feeling really overwhelmed.
00:07:32.167 --> 00:07:33.951
"I just need to connect with somebody.
00:07:33.951 --> 00:07:35.460
"Do you have a moment to talk?"
00:07:35.460 --> 00:07:37.470
I think everybody has
the capacity to do that
00:07:37.470 --> 00:07:41.640
no matter how exhausted
we are, but I think so,
00:07:41.640 --> 00:07:43.710
so much of our hesitation is because
00:07:43.710 --> 00:07:47.850
it interferes with and
interrupts belief we have about
00:07:47.850 --> 00:07:50.820
ourselves that our value
comes from when we're doing,
00:07:50.820 --> 00:07:52.920
and our value does not come
from when we are resting
00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:54.183
and pausing and stopping.
00:07:55.140 --> 00:07:57.540
- You share an example
where you and your husband
00:07:57.540 --> 00:08:00.240
went to Ohio in over a three day period,
00:08:00.240 --> 00:08:02.520
you just basically unplugged.
00:08:02.520 --> 00:08:07.520
And the things that you did are
the things that our parents,
00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:08.513
our grandparents,
00:08:08.513 --> 00:08:10.950
our great grandparents
might have just done.
00:08:10.950 --> 00:08:14.220
And that is, you were
just with each other,
00:08:14.220 --> 00:08:16.890
enjoying each other's company.
00:08:16.890 --> 00:08:20.400
And that sounds like that's
something you personally
00:08:20.400 --> 00:08:22.710
don't do a lot.
00:08:22.710 --> 00:08:24.690
Is that a fair statement?
00:08:24.690 --> 00:08:26.010
- Yeah, for extended periods of time,
00:08:26.010 --> 00:08:27.810
there's a moment where it's
like, oh, Saturday night,
00:08:27.810 --> 00:08:28.643
you know,
00:08:28.643 --> 00:08:29.476
we went to get dinner with a friend
00:08:29.476 --> 00:08:30.309
and went to an Orioles game,
00:08:30.309 --> 00:08:33.843
and that was a total of
five hours of together time.
00:08:34.710 --> 00:08:37.110
There's something about my coach.
00:08:37.110 --> 00:08:38.220
He called it "a friend-cation."
00:08:38.220 --> 00:08:40.087
He's like, "Maybe we need
to integrate quarterly
00:08:40.087 --> 00:08:42.990
"friend-cations as part of
your routine and ritual."
00:08:42.990 --> 00:08:44.319
- I love it. Great concept.
00:08:44.319 --> 00:08:45.152
- Right?
00:08:45.152 --> 00:08:45.989
A friend-cation.
00:08:45.989 --> 00:08:48.750
And the fact is, it's not
like we were tourists.
00:08:48.750 --> 00:08:50.850
I mean, for Easter Sunday,
00:08:50.850 --> 00:08:52.260
they went and did some
stuff with their family,
00:08:52.260 --> 00:08:53.910
and Bill and I went into Cleveland
00:08:53.910 --> 00:08:55.470
and we went to the Rock
and Roll Hall of Fame.
00:08:55.470 --> 00:08:57.949
And we had lunch together
because I was gonna be gone
00:08:57.949 --> 00:09:01.560
from home for a full
week after that for work,
00:09:01.560 --> 00:09:02.730
and I wasn't gonna see him for a week.
00:09:02.730 --> 00:09:04.927
And so I said, "Let's give
ourselves a little bit of
00:09:04.927 --> 00:09:07.417
"recalibration time to be with each other,
00:09:07.417 --> 00:09:09.847
"to engage in a novel
experience or something really
00:09:09.847 --> 00:09:12.300
"rejuvenating about engaging a novelty."
00:09:12.300 --> 00:09:15.570
And so going to a place
we've never been before,
00:09:15.570 --> 00:09:17.820
engaging in an activity that
we've never done before,
00:09:17.820 --> 00:09:20.670
that we haven't done in a
while, that we both enjoy.
00:09:20.670 --> 00:09:22.740
So that was something that
was new and where we have
00:09:22.740 --> 00:09:25.363
novelty, there's a certain
level of excitement to it,
00:09:25.363 --> 00:09:26.280
you know?
00:09:26.280 --> 00:09:31.280
And so I think that's something that,
00:09:31.380 --> 00:09:34.350
that extended time, even
if it's an overnight.
00:09:34.350 --> 00:09:36.360
We have another friend,
they have two boys,
00:09:36.360 --> 00:09:38.250
they live about 45, 50 minutes from us,
00:09:38.250 --> 00:09:40.080
one of my best friends from college.
00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:41.220
And sometimes we have sleepovers,
00:09:41.220 --> 00:09:44.130
we'll go to their house on
like a Saturday afternoon.
00:09:44.130 --> 00:09:47.460
We'll either get takeout
or make dinner together.
00:09:47.460 --> 00:09:49.290
They have a, like a
theater or small theater,
00:09:49.290 --> 00:09:50.123
like in their basement,
00:09:50.123 --> 00:09:54.300
and so we'll sit down there
and we'll watch a movie
00:09:54.300 --> 00:09:57.180
on this big screen and then
we'll make breakfast together
00:09:57.180 --> 00:09:58.013
the next day.
00:09:58.013 --> 00:09:59.967
They love games so we play
games through the afternoon
00:09:59.967 --> 00:10:02.790
and we'll usually leave,
you know, 24-ish hours
00:10:02.790 --> 00:10:04.440
after we got there.
00:10:04.440 --> 00:10:07.213
And that feels like a mini
getaway. Just because again,
00:10:07.213 --> 00:10:09.090
there was no work.
00:10:09.090 --> 00:10:11.220
There was playfulness,
00:10:11.220 --> 00:10:13.380
there was connection,
00:10:13.380 --> 00:10:17.580
and there was engaging in
something as a collective
00:10:17.580 --> 00:10:20.943
that we all benefited from
that was making a meal,
00:10:20.943 --> 00:10:23.070
you know, it's usually what it is.
00:10:23.070 --> 00:10:27.220
So I think that extended time
of more than just a few hours
00:10:28.320 --> 00:10:31.503
is something that is
particularly impactful.
00:10:32.340 --> 00:10:35.970
- So, you know, I don't wanna
overanalyze your trip to Ohio,
00:10:35.970 --> 00:10:38.940
but what I'm now understand
is that you not only spent
00:10:38.940 --> 00:10:41.608
really incredible
quality time with friends
00:10:41.608 --> 00:10:44.640
and their family, but while there,
00:10:44.640 --> 00:10:48.480
you also worked on the
relationship with your husband
00:10:48.480 --> 00:10:51.810
and you did those things,
and that would be,
00:10:51.810 --> 00:10:56.040
you said "novel" that you
might would not do otherwise.
00:10:56.040 --> 00:10:56.873
- Yeah.
00:10:56.873 --> 00:10:58.170
- Knowing that you're gonna
have an extended period
00:10:58.170 --> 00:11:00.180
of time of separation.
00:11:00.180 --> 00:11:03.423
Did you experience a sense of
Shalom as a result of that?
00:11:04.710 --> 00:11:06.450
- Oh, I mean, yeah, like that's, I mean,
00:11:06.450 --> 00:11:09.420
it lasted with me the full
week, I was at a retreat
00:11:09.420 --> 00:11:12.900
that week and the last
time I was, you know,
00:11:12.900 --> 00:11:13.733
at this retreat,
00:11:13.733 --> 00:11:16.140
I felt like I was a lot in my head
00:11:16.140 --> 00:11:18.330
and I was maybe a bit more
guarded and not fully present.
00:11:18.330 --> 00:11:19.860
I just felt like I was so present
00:11:19.860 --> 00:11:21.900
because I had been so filled up.
00:11:21.900 --> 00:11:22.920
I mean, truly in every way,
00:11:22.920 --> 00:11:25.350
emotionally and mentally,
in terms of rest,
00:11:25.350 --> 00:11:28.230
I slept really well every
night at their house.
00:11:28.230 --> 00:11:30.990
Like all of the aspects
of all the little tanks,
00:11:30.990 --> 00:11:31.823
you know,
00:11:31.823 --> 00:11:35.040
that are in part of my life
were all filled up in some way.
00:11:35.040 --> 00:11:37.260
So then when I went in to start the week
00:11:37.260 --> 00:11:39.810
knowing I was gonna be away from home,
00:11:39.810 --> 00:11:43.260
it was coming from a
place of nothing broken,
00:11:43.260 --> 00:11:45.780
nothing missing, so then
I could be fully present.
00:11:45.780 --> 00:11:49.050
It was like that feeling of
being present is something that
00:11:49.050 --> 00:11:52.800
I felt I carried with
me into the week ahead.
00:11:52.800 --> 00:11:55.530
So such a gift and I
would recommend, I mean,
00:11:55.530 --> 00:11:58.230
friend-cation, (laughing)
would encourage people
00:11:58.230 --> 00:12:00.870
to think about someone that
you really enjoy being with
00:12:00.870 --> 00:12:02.040
that's really life giving for you.
00:12:02.040 --> 00:12:03.150
And they have three, I mean,
they have an eight year old,
00:12:03.150 --> 00:12:04.050
a five year old, and a four year old.
00:12:04.050 --> 00:12:07.020
So it's not like these
are (chuckling) easy years
00:12:07.020 --> 00:12:08.160
of parenting.
00:12:08.160 --> 00:12:09.090
- Yes.
00:12:09.090 --> 00:12:12.480
But we play, I mean, there's
a game called Skip Bo.
00:12:12.480 --> 00:12:14.070
It's a card game that her eight,
00:12:14.070 --> 00:12:15.810
their eight year old son is super into,
00:12:15.810 --> 00:12:17.070
we played three rounds of it,
00:12:17.070 --> 00:12:19.320
and he just wanted probably,
would've played five more
00:12:19.320 --> 00:12:22.590
if I'd taken five or six
more hours to do that.
00:12:22.590 --> 00:12:23.700
But it was, you know,
00:12:23.700 --> 00:12:27.150
it was just this really joyful
moment of what almost like
00:12:27.150 --> 00:12:29.250
communal living must feel
like, a little glimpse of what
00:12:29.250 --> 00:12:31.530
it must feel like to live in
like a cooperative or communal
00:12:31.530 --> 00:12:33.750
space so I would just
encourage anyone listening
00:12:33.750 --> 00:12:36.240
to think about who is someone
or who are some people,
00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:37.830
or who is a family that I really,
00:12:37.830 --> 00:12:39.502
whether you're single
or married or have kids,
00:12:39.502 --> 00:12:42.420
that I really enjoy being
with that, could we,
00:12:42.420 --> 00:12:44.701
what would it look like if
even for a long weekend,
00:12:44.701 --> 00:12:47.730
we just plan to get together
and spend time with each other.
00:12:47.730 --> 00:12:49.020
What would that look like?
00:12:49.020 --> 00:12:50.190
- Yes.
00:12:50.190 --> 00:12:51.023
- And plan it.
00:12:51.990 --> 00:12:55.237
- We open by saying the title
of this episode's gonna be
00:12:55.237 --> 00:12:57.540
"Recalibrating and Resetting,"
00:12:57.540 --> 00:12:59.790
and we've kind of begun to touch on that,
00:12:59.790 --> 00:13:04.790
but that after the colon,
"Navigating the Next Normals,
00:13:06.150 --> 00:13:10.833
that term normals, plural,
what does that mean to you?
00:13:11.730 --> 00:13:13.620
- Well, I think a lot of times,
00:13:13.620 --> 00:13:14.490
in the midst of the pandemic,
00:13:14.490 --> 00:13:16.050
people said, "Oh, we're
gonna going back to normal."
00:13:16.050 --> 00:13:16.920
And then eventually,
00:13:16.920 --> 00:13:18.420
even though some people are
still digging their heels
00:13:18.420 --> 00:13:21.545
in about it, we've come to
recognize that ship has sailed.
00:13:21.545 --> 00:13:23.730
There is no going back
to the way things where
00:13:23.730 --> 00:13:26.340
you can't undo what has
happened in the past two years,
00:13:26.340 --> 00:13:28.530
and we have been fundamentally
changed and shifted
00:13:28.530 --> 00:13:30.690
collectively and individually.
00:13:30.690 --> 00:13:32.010
So when we think about,
00:13:32.010 --> 00:13:34.927
I like to make it plural
because it's iterative, right?
00:13:34.927 --> 00:13:36.870
What's normal today,
00:13:36.870 --> 00:13:38.640
six months from now might shift again.
00:13:38.640 --> 00:13:41.054
And I think one of the things
that makes change so hard
00:13:41.054 --> 00:13:45.692
is when we get tied into
one way of how things are,
00:13:45.692 --> 00:13:48.930
and we have an expectation
that that's how it's always
00:13:48.930 --> 00:13:49.763
gonna be.
00:13:49.763 --> 00:13:53.220
And then when something
disrupts that we're completely
00:13:53.220 --> 00:13:57.360
thrown off, because we're
like, you know, it's like GPS,
00:13:57.360 --> 00:13:59.700
rerouting, recalibrating,
recalibrating, recalibrating,
00:13:59.700 --> 00:14:02.100
and we're in this state of
we're constantly having to learn
00:14:02.100 --> 00:14:04.860
a new way of living or
working or doing or being,
00:14:04.860 --> 00:14:08.010
and that in and of itself can
be fundamentally exhausting.
00:14:08.010 --> 00:14:09.450
So first of all, anyone's
feeling exhausted,
00:14:09.450 --> 00:14:11.857
just wanna recognize that
that is a normal experience
00:14:11.857 --> 00:14:15.929
of going through this iterative
process of navigating change
00:14:15.929 --> 00:14:19.980
and understanding new
ways of how things are.
00:14:19.980 --> 00:14:21.180
So when you think of the next normals,
00:14:21.180 --> 00:14:23.280
I think it's just acknowledging
00:14:23.280 --> 00:14:25.680
that life will continue to change.
00:14:25.680 --> 00:14:28.080
That thing there, it
was never static before.
00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:30.930
It's just the degree to which
it's changed is so much more
00:14:30.930 --> 00:14:33.090
pronounced now that we're hyper aware of,
00:14:33.090 --> 00:14:34.740
everyone's collectively aware of it.
00:14:34.740 --> 00:14:37.140
So I think just acknowledging,
00:14:37.140 --> 00:14:39.600
making the choice to acknowledge
that things are gonna
00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:40.830
continue to change.
00:14:40.830 --> 00:14:42.750
There's gonna continue to be uncertainty
00:14:42.750 --> 00:14:44.280
and the extent to which we can recognize
00:14:44.280 --> 00:14:45.540
that we may not be able to change
00:14:45.540 --> 00:14:47.100
what's happening to us or around us,
00:14:47.100 --> 00:14:49.272
but we get to always control our response,
00:14:49.272 --> 00:14:51.307
drawing on Viktor Frankel's work in
00:14:51.307 --> 00:14:52.230
"Man's Search For Meaning,"
00:14:52.230 --> 00:14:54.810
that we always get to choose our response.
00:14:54.810 --> 00:14:56.280
We always get to choose our attitude.
00:14:56.280 --> 00:14:58.380
We always get to choose how we show up,
00:14:58.380 --> 00:15:00.027
no matter what's going on around us.
00:15:00.027 --> 00:15:01.740
And one of those choices can be,
00:15:01.740 --> 00:15:05.670
I'm gonna accept some of these
changes that I may not like
00:15:05.670 --> 00:15:08.010
so that I can free up my
energy to move forward
00:15:08.010 --> 00:15:09.260
in a more productive way.
00:15:10.590 --> 00:15:13.050
- Regular listeners know
that this is an unscripted
00:15:13.050 --> 00:15:14.940
conversation, so I'm
gonna throw one out to you
00:15:14.940 --> 00:15:16.530
you probably didn't see coming.
00:15:16.530 --> 00:15:17.363
- Great.
00:15:17.363 --> 00:15:18.540
- I just thought of it and that is,
00:15:18.540 --> 00:15:20.523
we know you as a keynote speaker,
00:15:22.018 --> 00:15:25.680
your natural personality
comes through loud and clear.
00:15:25.680 --> 00:15:26.580
If you're listening,
00:15:26.580 --> 00:15:29.640
you can just see that
your eyes are lit up.
00:15:29.640 --> 00:15:30.473
If you're watching,
00:15:30.473 --> 00:15:34.350
you can see how quickly
Rachel lights up, she smiles.
00:15:34.350 --> 00:15:38.013
But when you're on, you're
in a keynote setting,
00:15:39.150 --> 00:15:42.420
how do you help take
whatever it is you're sharing
00:15:42.420 --> 00:15:46.110
as a keynoter and reduce
it to practicality?
00:15:46.110 --> 00:15:49.620
Is that something that people yearn for?
00:15:49.620 --> 00:15:50.730
- Oh yeah.
00:15:50.730 --> 00:15:51.630
Oh yeah, for sure.
00:15:51.630 --> 00:15:54.540
I mean, people, they absolutely want,
00:15:54.540 --> 00:15:55.980
they wanna walk away from experience,
00:15:55.980 --> 00:15:57.259
they wanna feel inspired.
00:15:57.259 --> 00:16:00.030
They wanna feel a sense of possibility.
00:16:00.030 --> 00:16:02.460
They wanna feel connected.
00:16:02.460 --> 00:16:04.770
They wanna feel more alive
and they wanna feel equipped
00:16:04.770 --> 00:16:05.610
to take action.
00:16:05.610 --> 00:16:09.270
So I was doing a keynote
recently with a group of women
00:16:09.270 --> 00:16:12.123
leaders in the higher education space,
00:16:13.928 --> 00:16:14.761
and after the session,
00:16:14.761 --> 00:16:17.460
so I talk about unmuting
yourself and being bold
00:16:17.460 --> 00:16:19.200
and courageous and
being your own advocate,
00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:22.320
and that's part of the
focus of the workshop
00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:24.630
that I'm gonna be doing for
Simon Sinek's team is speaking
00:16:24.630 --> 00:16:28.500
up at work and people left that session.
00:16:28.500 --> 00:16:29.779
And one of the things I talk about,
00:16:29.779 --> 00:16:32.970
it might just be a
question that I ask, right?
00:16:32.970 --> 00:16:35.190
A question can open up a whole
new world of possibilities
00:16:35.190 --> 00:16:37.267
for people so if I say,
00:16:37.267 --> 00:16:40.217
"Who gets the best of you and
who gets what's left of you?"
00:16:41.520 --> 00:16:44.460
That alone might hit someone in such a way
00:16:44.460 --> 00:16:47.197
that they're like, "Ooh, wow,
00:16:47.197 --> 00:16:50.287
"that alone is getting
me to have a realization
00:16:50.287 --> 00:16:51.837
"that's gonna get me to shift."
00:16:52.701 --> 00:16:53.873
Like someone heard that
question and then went
00:16:53.873 --> 00:16:54.706
and apologized to her son and husband
00:16:54.706 --> 00:16:55.710
for how she's been showing up,
00:16:55.710 --> 00:16:57.840
'cause she just didn't recognize it.
00:16:57.840 --> 00:17:00.390
Or I talk about the
importance of, you know,
00:17:00.390 --> 00:17:03.030
not living a life of regret
and how the number one regret
00:17:03.030 --> 00:17:05.149
of people on their deathbed
is I wish I'd had the courage
00:17:05.149 --> 00:17:06.720
to live a life true to myself,
00:17:06.720 --> 00:17:08.470
not the life others expected of me,
00:17:09.540 --> 00:17:11.580
and that, you know,
00:17:11.580 --> 00:17:13.722
and how the importance of
going for it and be willing to
00:17:13.722 --> 00:17:16.980
live a life of even if it
means the life of rejection
00:17:16.980 --> 00:17:18.900
so that you don't live a life of regret.
00:17:18.900 --> 00:17:23.700
And I heard stories after the
event of one woman was sitting
00:17:23.700 --> 00:17:25.350
at a table with her
peers the next morning,
00:17:25.350 --> 00:17:28.080
talking about how there
was this new opportunity
00:17:28.080 --> 00:17:31.327
that she was saying, "I'm
not sure if I wanna apply."
00:17:31.327 --> 00:17:33.937
"I don't know," and the
whole table was like,
00:17:33.937 --> 00:17:36.540
"You've gotta go for it, like
you've gotta at least try."
00:17:36.540 --> 00:17:40.680
So it's sort of this more
confident self emerges in people,
00:17:40.680 --> 00:17:42.840
and this sense of, "Well, why not?"
00:17:42.840 --> 00:17:45.270
You know, let me go for it.
00:17:45.270 --> 00:17:48.090
Or another person left as I
talk about my burnout journey
00:17:48.090 --> 00:17:50.580
in that keynote to you and
how we silence ourselves,
00:17:50.580 --> 00:17:52.320
and we don't ask for the help that we need
00:17:52.320 --> 00:17:53.361
or for what we want,
00:17:53.361 --> 00:17:55.350
or we don't speak up
when we're struggling.
00:17:55.350 --> 00:17:57.852
And so she left the session
and booked two vacations.
00:17:57.852 --> 00:18:00.102
(laughing)
00:18:01.830 --> 00:18:04.320
Yeah, so like people walk
away and they do stuff
00:18:04.320 --> 00:18:05.520
because they feel something.
00:18:05.520 --> 00:18:08.853
Like we make changes
when we feel something.
00:18:09.900 --> 00:18:12.810
- You know, I just realized
you could very easily take on
00:18:12.810 --> 00:18:13.660
as sponsors,
00:18:13.660 --> 00:18:17.707
travel agencies because
you do kind of instill,
00:18:17.707 --> 00:18:20.310
"Gosh, I just gotta get away."
00:18:20.310 --> 00:18:21.540
You just mentioned in passing,
00:18:21.540 --> 00:18:23.670
but I wanna come back
to it just before we hit
00:18:23.670 --> 00:18:24.660
the record button,
00:18:24.660 --> 00:18:27.780
you shared with me something
new that you've been asked
00:18:27.780 --> 00:18:31.260
to do with the Simon Sinek Organization.
00:18:31.260 --> 00:18:33.300
Tell us a little more about
what is it you're gonna be doing
00:18:33.300 --> 00:18:34.740
for them.
00:18:34.740 --> 00:18:38.220
- Yeah, so I'm gonna
be one of their online,
00:18:38.220 --> 00:18:40.710
live online course instructors,
00:18:40.710 --> 00:18:42.960
which I'm super excited about.
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:45.275
And my friend and mentor of mine, Kristen,
00:18:45.275 --> 00:18:48.360
she connected me to the opportunity.
00:18:48.360 --> 00:18:50.070
I've known her for maybe four years,
00:18:50.070 --> 00:18:53.010
and I remember the first time
I met her, I said to her,
00:18:53.010 --> 00:18:56.737
I said, "I wanna do like my own version
00:18:56.737 --> 00:18:58.020
"of what you are doing."
00:18:58.020 --> 00:18:59.880
'Cause I had heard her speak kind of like
00:18:59.880 --> 00:19:03.810
an intimate conference and
gathering that I was at
00:19:03.810 --> 00:19:05.745
and about 40 people or so in my industry.
00:19:05.745 --> 00:19:09.226
And then a year later I made the decision,
00:19:09.226 --> 00:19:10.530
like I was out.
00:19:10.530 --> 00:19:11.639
I left my job and
00:19:11.639 --> 00:19:13.170
I launched my own business.
(chuckling)
00:19:13.170 --> 00:19:15.510
So she's like, "You said
it, and then you did it."
00:19:15.510 --> 00:19:19.410
And I, you know,
00:19:19.410 --> 00:19:21.990
so much of my journey has, so
much of I've gotten to where
00:19:21.990 --> 00:19:25.050
I am in my career is because
I advocated for myself
00:19:25.050 --> 00:19:27.060
from a very young age of speaking up
00:19:27.060 --> 00:19:28.170
and asking for what I needed
00:19:28.170 --> 00:19:32.010
and for what I wanted and inserting myself
00:19:32.010 --> 00:19:34.770
into opportunities and not being,
00:19:34.770 --> 00:19:36.750
not being someone who hid my
accomplishments with someone
00:19:36.750 --> 00:19:40.260
who made them known as a
way to help grow my career.
00:19:40.260 --> 00:19:42.549
And so that's one of the things
that I feel passionate about
00:19:42.549 --> 00:19:44.760
helping other people do is to speak up
00:19:44.760 --> 00:19:46.800
and I be asking for a vacation,
00:19:46.800 --> 00:19:49.980
or if you're asking for support
so that you can continue,
00:19:49.980 --> 00:19:52.621
so that you can recalibrate
so that you can reset.
00:19:52.621 --> 00:19:56.250
You're not a machine, to
acknowledge what routines
00:19:56.250 --> 00:19:58.077
and rituals do I need to put in place
00:19:58.077 --> 00:20:00.280
to help me create a sustainable life.
00:20:00.280 --> 00:20:01.260
You know?
00:20:01.260 --> 00:20:05.160
And so when we build the
confidence to speak up
00:20:05.160 --> 00:20:07.680
and ask for what we need and want,
00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:09.524
we're more likely to get it. (chuckling)
00:20:09.524 --> 00:20:12.180
You know, you don't ask, you never ask,
00:20:12.180 --> 00:20:13.890
there's a pretty low
chance you're gonna get,
00:20:13.890 --> 00:20:17.564
but if you ask what you need and want,
00:20:17.564 --> 00:20:19.050
there's a better chance
you're gonna get it
00:20:19.050 --> 00:20:20.700
'cause someone might not
even know that you need it,
00:20:20.700 --> 00:20:22.320
what you're asking for.
00:20:22.320 --> 00:20:23.340
People are not mind readers,
00:20:23.340 --> 00:20:27.377
you know, so anyway, tangent, but that's,
00:20:27.377 --> 00:20:29.490
that's what I'm gonna be doing.
00:20:29.490 --> 00:20:31.740
- Well, it's a tangent I
put you on just to bring
00:20:31.740 --> 00:20:32.573
full circle.
00:20:32.573 --> 00:20:34.680
The name of your business
is called Unmuted.
00:20:34.680 --> 00:20:37.980
And therefore you're helping
those who you speak to
00:20:37.980 --> 00:20:41.670
find their voice, to ask for
the things that they need,
00:20:41.670 --> 00:20:44.880
that we all need at our core.
00:20:44.880 --> 00:20:46.470
One of the things we've talked about today
00:20:46.470 --> 00:20:50.040
is just the need to be able
to push the pause button.
00:20:50.040 --> 00:20:51.255
It may not be a week.
00:20:51.255 --> 00:20:53.430
It may not be a long weekend.
00:20:53.430 --> 00:20:56.190
It could be just a few hours.
00:20:56.190 --> 00:20:57.023
- Yeah.
00:20:57.023 --> 00:20:59.973
- But the restorative power
of hitting that pause button.
00:21:01.440 --> 00:21:04.490
Rachel, you know, given
the theme of this podcast
00:21:04.490 --> 00:21:06.690
and because of who you are
00:21:06.690 --> 00:21:07.523
and what you do,
00:21:07.523 --> 00:21:10.200
would you think of a
situation where either you
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:12.210
or someone you know got stuck,
00:21:12.210 --> 00:21:15.150
and what did it take to get unstuck?
00:21:15.150 --> 00:21:16.230
- So I'll give a personal example
00:21:16.230 --> 00:21:17.322
and I'll give a professional example.
00:21:17.322 --> 00:21:18.155
- Okay.
00:21:18.155 --> 00:21:22.710
- Personal example is I fell
out of a routine of exercising
00:21:22.710 --> 00:21:25.705
in a very consistent way
years ago, let's be honest.
00:21:25.705 --> 00:21:27.450
And then when I was involved,
00:21:27.450 --> 00:21:30.300
got hit by a pickup truck in May of 2020
00:21:30.300 --> 00:21:33.123
and fractured my back
and injured my ankle,
00:21:34.140 --> 00:21:35.610
I mean, exercise routine
was out the window
00:21:35.610 --> 00:21:37.590
because I was just trying
to recover, you know,
00:21:37.590 --> 00:21:39.870
and regain any strength and functionality.
00:21:39.870 --> 00:21:41.610
And so it was like,
exercise was like, yeah,
00:21:41.610 --> 00:21:43.260
nice eventually.
00:21:43.260 --> 00:21:46.170
And so I noticed that I
had not been consistent
00:21:46.170 --> 00:21:47.520
and was kinda making excuses for that.
00:21:47.520 --> 00:21:49.800
And so when I was at
this retreat last week,
00:21:49.800 --> 00:21:51.330
we had two yoga classes, you know,
00:21:51.330 --> 00:21:52.800
first thing in the morning,
00:21:52.800 --> 00:21:55.020
there was a yoga instructor
who was there on Tuesday
00:21:55.020 --> 00:21:57.990
and a Wednesday or Wednesday and Thursday.
00:21:57.990 --> 00:21:58.830
And so I came back,
00:21:58.830 --> 00:22:01.740
I remembered how good it felt
to just expand and open up,
00:22:01.740 --> 00:22:03.870
and a lot of the times when we move our,
00:22:03.870 --> 00:22:05.790
when we move our body, we move our mind,
00:22:05.790 --> 00:22:07.820
like move the body to move the brain.
00:22:07.820 --> 00:22:12.820
And so we have a Peloton
bike and they are on the app,
00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:15.210
there's all these yoga
classes that you can take.
00:22:15.210 --> 00:22:17.730
And there's another yoga
channel called Yoga with Adrian,
00:22:17.730 --> 00:22:19.713
whose yoga videos I love.
00:22:20.550 --> 00:22:22.530
They're all free on YouTube,
00:22:22.530 --> 00:22:24.060
you can find so many
things free on YouTube.
00:22:24.060 --> 00:22:28.620
Never have to pay for yoga
class, but this particular app,
00:22:28.620 --> 00:22:30.753
I love the Peloton app cause
I can stream it to my TV.
00:22:30.753 --> 00:22:32.490
And then, you know,
00:22:32.490 --> 00:22:34.110
I can pick the kind of
music I wanna listen to.
00:22:34.110 --> 00:22:34.943
And I'm like, all right,
00:22:34.943 --> 00:22:36.000
I've got 10 minutes or I've got 20 minutes
00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:37.410
or I've got a half hour.
00:22:37.410 --> 00:22:39.930
And I just put my yoga
mat out the night before
00:22:39.930 --> 00:22:41.580
and put my clothes out the night before,
00:22:41.580 --> 00:22:43.860
and put the blocks out the night before.
00:22:43.860 --> 00:22:46.320
It's those little things that
when I get up in the morning,
00:22:46.320 --> 00:22:49.740
I have less decision fatigue
because I've already set
00:22:49.740 --> 00:22:52.230
the environment to be conducive.
00:22:52.230 --> 00:22:53.840
And now I'm like, well, my
clothes are already out,
00:22:53.840 --> 00:22:55.620
my mat's already on the floor.
00:22:55.620 --> 00:22:57.690
Like I might as well just,
00:22:57.690 --> 00:22:58.950
you were just gonna spend
a half hour scrolling
00:22:58.950 --> 00:23:00.450
on social media anyway, Rachel,
00:23:00.450 --> 00:23:01.950
you might as well take a half
hour and do something good
00:23:01.950 --> 00:23:02.971
for your body and your mind, you know?
00:23:02.971 --> 00:23:04.210
(laughing)
00:23:04.210 --> 00:23:06.930
So that's like a personal unstucking.
00:23:06.930 --> 00:23:09.930
I would say that I'm getting
back into that routine,
00:23:09.930 --> 00:23:12.090
four days in a row, I've done yoga now.
00:23:12.090 --> 00:23:13.110
- Congratulations.
00:23:13.110 --> 00:23:13.943
- Thanks.
00:23:13.943 --> 00:23:15.030
You know, and I'll celebrate,
it's like four days
00:23:15.030 --> 00:23:16.890
may not be 48 days or whatever, but hey,
00:23:16.890 --> 00:23:21.450
it's four days and I'm gonna
do my best to keep a routine
00:23:21.450 --> 00:23:23.310
up, even if it's only 10 minutes a day.
00:23:23.310 --> 00:23:26.310
Like the consistency of the
routine is more important
00:23:26.310 --> 00:23:28.230
than the duration of the exercise.
00:23:28.230 --> 00:23:29.400
- Well said.
00:23:29.400 --> 00:23:31.950
- So "Atomic Habits," James
Clear would be a good place
00:23:31.950 --> 00:23:33.840
to get more on that for
anyone who wants to dig
00:23:33.840 --> 00:23:35.610
into habit formation.
00:23:35.610 --> 00:23:37.710
And then the professional example
was I was just speaking at
00:23:37.710 --> 00:23:39.505
a conference in Louisville, Kentucky,
00:23:39.505 --> 00:23:42.300
and I was with a group of executives,
00:23:42.300 --> 00:23:44.400
several hundred executives
in the building service
00:23:44.400 --> 00:23:45.540
contracting industry.
00:23:45.540 --> 00:23:48.063
So they run companies that
do commercial cleaning
00:23:48.063 --> 00:23:52.560
and landscaping and security
and facilities maintenance.
00:23:52.560 --> 00:23:53.940
And so they're working with
people that are making,
00:23:53.940 --> 00:23:57.060
you know, $12, $13 an hour
for the most part, right?
00:23:57.060 --> 00:24:01.320
And the focus of my session was
around what employees really
00:24:01.320 --> 00:24:03.750
want from work and what we
can do to create workplace
00:24:03.750 --> 00:24:05.160
experiences that are more aligned
00:24:05.160 --> 00:24:06.180
with what people really want.
00:24:06.180 --> 00:24:09.270
So the three factors I talked
about and we can share in
00:24:09.270 --> 00:24:10.920
the show notes, an article
I've written about this before,
00:24:10.920 --> 00:24:14.430
too, if you'd like, it was
cause, community, and careers.
00:24:14.430 --> 00:24:16.710
They want a sense of purpose,
so I invite them, you know,
00:24:16.710 --> 00:24:18.150
share stories of purpose.
00:24:18.150 --> 00:24:19.992
They want a sense of community
connection and belonging,
00:24:19.992 --> 00:24:22.290
and they wanna work for an
organization that supports
00:24:22.290 --> 00:24:24.090
their career growth and development.
00:24:24.930 --> 00:24:26.850
So what we did is we
split the room in half
00:24:26.850 --> 00:24:30.363
and for the last third
or so of the experience,
00:24:31.230 --> 00:24:33.596
I was the closing keynote on
the final day of the event,
00:24:33.596 --> 00:24:36.660
and so they got into groups
and one of the groups
00:24:36.660 --> 00:24:38.280
was focused on how, you know,
00:24:38.280 --> 00:24:41.550
how might we foster
community connection and care
00:24:41.550 --> 00:24:42.510
in our organizations?
00:24:42.510 --> 00:24:43.830
What are we already doing that's working?
00:24:43.830 --> 00:24:45.090
What are some new ideas we might try?
00:24:45.090 --> 00:24:46.950
Then they get together in
brainstorm and sticky notes
00:24:46.950 --> 00:24:47.783
and all that kind of stuff.
00:24:47.783 --> 00:24:50.070
And the other group is focused
on how might we support
00:24:50.070 --> 00:24:52.500
people's career growth and development.
00:24:52.500 --> 00:24:54.688
And so as a result of doing this,
00:24:54.688 --> 00:24:57.300
they then come up with
all these ideas we capture
00:24:57.300 --> 00:25:02.250
and gather them in a, you
know, Mentimeter, in an online,
00:25:02.250 --> 00:25:04.454
polling platform to
get all their responses
00:25:04.454 --> 00:25:06.420
and then sent those out afterwards.
00:25:06.420 --> 00:25:09.205
And there was a woman
who came up to me after
00:25:09.205 --> 00:25:11.527
the speech was over and
she said, she's like,
00:25:11.527 --> 00:25:13.140
"Thank you so much for doing this."
00:25:13.140 --> 00:25:13.995
She wanted to get a picture, (chuckling)
00:25:13.995 --> 00:25:17.310
this is like new to me that
people wanna get pictures
00:25:17.310 --> 00:25:19.470
together, but I'm like,
"Yes, let's do it."
00:25:19.470 --> 00:25:20.467
And she said,
00:25:20.467 --> 00:25:23.707
"I am walking away with
so many great ideas
00:25:23.707 --> 00:25:28.626
"and I'm feeling so energized
and excited to bring this back
00:25:28.626 --> 00:25:30.927
"to my company."
00:25:32.565 --> 00:25:33.750
And to me,
00:25:33.750 --> 00:25:36.930
what stood out from that
comment is that as a speaker,
00:25:36.930 --> 00:25:38.880
it's easy to just get up on
stage and tell your stories
00:25:38.880 --> 00:25:40.890
and then like expect people
to walk away thinking
00:25:40.890 --> 00:25:42.666
you're awesome and feeling inspired,
00:25:42.666 --> 00:25:47.610
but people learn best when
they're actively participating
00:25:47.610 --> 00:25:48.480
in an experience.
00:25:48.480 --> 00:25:50.340
And so, because they got
to share with each other
00:25:50.340 --> 00:25:52.200
and learn from their peers,
00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:55.560
the ideas that emerged from
that were so much more relevant
00:25:55.560 --> 00:25:59.280
and likely impactful
00:25:59.280 --> 00:26:03.120
and interesting than anything
I would've come up with
00:26:03.120 --> 00:26:05.400
as an outsider, you know?
00:26:05.400 --> 00:26:09.690
So just reminding people
of their creativity,
00:26:09.690 --> 00:26:13.410
by giving them an experience
to use it is something
00:26:13.410 --> 00:26:16.410
that I think, or any
organization could be doing
00:26:16.410 --> 00:26:17.400
more of right now.
00:26:17.400 --> 00:26:19.620
And you can do that in person
and you can do it virtually
00:26:19.620 --> 00:26:22.728
and it never ceases to amaze me how,
00:26:22.728 --> 00:26:25.624
how prolific people
can be with their ideas
00:26:25.624 --> 00:26:27.960
when you just ask the
right kind of a question
00:26:27.960 --> 00:26:29.560
and invite them into that space.
00:26:30.450 --> 00:26:33.570
- So one thing I can count on
you from an idea standpoint,
00:26:33.570 --> 00:26:36.960
you're not only a fantastic speaker
00:26:36.960 --> 00:26:38.970
as we can obviously hear,
00:26:38.970 --> 00:26:40.740
but you're also a gifted writer.
00:26:40.740 --> 00:26:42.810
And in many of the things that you post,
00:26:42.810 --> 00:26:44.280
you share resources.
00:26:44.280 --> 00:26:47.556
You've already shared another
book, "Atomic Habits."
00:26:47.556 --> 00:26:49.890
Right before we hit the record button,
00:26:49.890 --> 00:26:54.275
you introduced me to a new
book that I did not know about,
00:26:54.275 --> 00:26:55.860
I think it's "Flux."
00:26:55.860 --> 00:26:56.790
Is that correct?
00:26:56.790 --> 00:26:57.709
- Yeah, "Flux,"
00:26:57.709 --> 00:26:59.370
I think the last, I
think it's April Rinne,
00:26:59.370 --> 00:27:01.620
I guess her name, or
Rinney, Rinne, I'm not sure.
00:27:01.620 --> 00:27:04.080
R-I-N-N-E is her last name.
00:27:04.080 --> 00:27:04.913
So I have that.
00:27:04.913 --> 00:27:05.746
I've been reading that on my Kindle
00:27:05.746 --> 00:27:09.600
and I think that's a good
book to be reading right now,
00:27:09.600 --> 00:27:13.650
just to explore your
own thoughts and beliefs
00:27:13.650 --> 00:27:18.650
and get new perspective
on navigating change.
00:27:18.690 --> 00:27:21.300
Like one of the things she
talks about is how we tend
00:27:21.300 --> 00:27:24.120
to dislike change that is imposed upon us.
00:27:24.120 --> 00:27:26.617
Like if it's a change that we
choose, we're much more like,
00:27:26.617 --> 00:27:28.897
"Hey, I want to move or
I want to change jobs,
00:27:28.897 --> 00:27:30.367
"or I want to get outta this relationship,
00:27:30.367 --> 00:27:32.713
"or I wanna go on this trip," or whatever.
00:27:32.713 --> 00:27:34.384
If it's a change we choose,
00:27:34.384 --> 00:27:36.210
it's generally, there's less resistance.
00:27:36.210 --> 00:27:37.950
But if a change that was imposed upon us
00:27:37.950 --> 00:27:39.780
and we didn't have a say,
00:27:39.780 --> 00:27:41.850
we lose some of our sense of autonomy,
00:27:41.850 --> 00:27:45.014
that's when people can get
defensive and a little crispy.
00:27:45.014 --> 00:27:46.839
- Well, that's a good word, crispy.
00:27:46.839 --> 00:27:48.330
(Rachel laughing)
00:27:48.330 --> 00:27:52.200
You know, as we reflect
on this conversation
00:27:52.200 --> 00:27:55.357
and you kind of were to say, "Gosh, Mike,
00:27:55.357 --> 00:27:57.637
"if I was to summarize
the things I really want
00:27:57.637 --> 00:28:00.420
"the listeners to have as takeaways,"
00:28:00.420 --> 00:28:01.833
what might some of those be?
00:28:02.820 --> 00:28:03.960
- I would say to take a moment
00:28:03.960 --> 00:28:06.540
and to grab a pen and paper
and to think about what are
00:28:06.540 --> 00:28:11.540
the experiences that
generally help you to reset,
00:28:11.850 --> 00:28:15.660
to recharge, and to recalibrate.
00:28:15.660 --> 00:28:16.890
Anything that comes to mind,
00:28:16.890 --> 00:28:19.710
set a timer for two minutes
and just give yourself,
00:28:19.710 --> 00:28:20.970
or set a timer for three
minutes or whatever,
00:28:20.970 --> 00:28:24.270
just set a timer, and write
down whatever comes to mind.
00:28:24.270 --> 00:28:25.327
And then look at that list and say,
00:28:25.327 --> 00:28:29.947
"Which of these things could
I do more consistently,
00:28:29.947 --> 00:28:33.040
"which of these things would
I be most excited to do
00:28:34.533 --> 00:28:36.187
"in the next month?
00:28:36.187 --> 00:28:38.587
"Which of these things
could I do in the next week?
00:28:38.587 --> 00:28:41.190
"Which of these things could I do today?"
00:28:41.190 --> 00:28:44.799
And to start to break it
down in that form and say,
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:48.577
"What are some of the rhythms
I wanna create in my life?
00:28:48.577 --> 00:28:51.517
"What are some of these
rhythms of reflection or rest,
00:28:51.517 --> 00:28:54.217
"or pause that I want to
integrate into my life
00:28:54.217 --> 00:28:55.437
"more consistently?"
00:28:56.400 --> 00:28:58.200
Which connects us back to the
conversation around burnout
00:28:58.200 --> 00:28:59.033
last time, right?
00:28:59.033 --> 00:29:00.180
When we're not integrating
these rhythms of rest,
00:29:00.180 --> 00:29:01.650
we tend to burnout.
00:29:01.650 --> 00:29:04.770
So I think just having a moment
of honest self-reflection
00:29:04.770 --> 00:29:07.170
and giving yourself the space
to come up with those ideas
00:29:07.170 --> 00:29:09.180
would be an important thing
and then I would challenge you,
00:29:09.180 --> 00:29:12.600
invite you and challenge invite
you to look at your calendar
00:29:12.600 --> 00:29:15.630
and then literally pick a date
on which you're going to do
00:29:15.630 --> 00:29:17.250
one of those things
00:29:17.250 --> 00:29:18.330
and tell someone else about it,
00:29:18.330 --> 00:29:19.891
whether that's reaching out
to somebody to make a plan
00:29:19.891 --> 00:29:22.740
for something so you feel
more sense of accountability
00:29:22.740 --> 00:29:23.602
and it's hard to back out.
00:29:23.602 --> 00:29:25.560
(laughing)
00:29:25.560 --> 00:29:29.970
So I think that would be
one thing I would suggest
00:29:29.970 --> 00:29:33.483
would be to have that moment
of reflection and commitment.
00:29:34.530 --> 00:29:37.130
And the other thing I would
say is to recognize that
00:29:38.130 --> 00:29:39.390
going through change is hard.
00:29:39.390 --> 00:29:40.680
The brain hates change.
00:29:40.680 --> 00:29:43.170
My dad always says the only
person who likes change
00:29:43.170 --> 00:29:44.623
is a baby in a wet diaper.
00:29:44.623 --> 00:29:47.940
(both chuckling)
00:29:47.940 --> 00:29:49.260
I think is funny.
00:29:49.260 --> 00:29:52.050
And it's true, like the brain is lazy.
00:29:52.050 --> 00:29:55.260
The brain fundamentally wants
what's familiar and consistent
00:29:55.260 --> 00:29:58.110
in anything that comes
up as unfamiliar of,
00:29:58.110 --> 00:30:00.270
I don't know what to do with
this, this is unfamiliar.
00:30:00.270 --> 00:30:02.190
This does not look like the others,
00:30:02.190 --> 00:30:03.990
the brain then has to work harder.
00:30:03.990 --> 00:30:06.210
And we've been going through a lot of that
00:30:06.210 --> 00:30:07.290
in the past two years,
00:30:07.290 --> 00:30:10.650
and so I think part of it is
acknowledging how hard it is
00:30:10.650 --> 00:30:11.700
to do that,
00:30:11.700 --> 00:30:14.313
to give yourself some grace
and to acknowledge that,
00:30:15.390 --> 00:30:17.791
doing the best I can with
what I have with the energy
00:30:17.791 --> 00:30:20.850
resources, insight,
perspective, experience,
00:30:20.850 --> 00:30:24.360
support available to me at any moment,
00:30:24.360 --> 00:30:25.770
I'm doing the best I can with what I have
00:30:25.770 --> 00:30:27.210
and so is everybody else.
00:30:27.210 --> 00:30:29.730
And to just give yourself
a moment of grace,
00:30:29.730 --> 00:30:33.123
I think is so important
in the midst of change.
00:30:34.620 --> 00:30:37.110
If you'd like, I have one more,
very quick one I can offer,
00:30:37.110 --> 00:30:38.090
or maybe three.
- Please.
00:30:38.090 --> 00:30:39.456
(Rachel chuckling)
00:30:39.456 --> 00:30:41.940
The last thing I would invite
you to do is to think about
00:30:41.940 --> 00:30:42.840
a time in your life,
00:30:42.840 --> 00:30:44.681
I call this when one door
closes another opens,
00:30:44.681 --> 00:30:47.490
think about a moment in your
life where you went through
00:30:47.490 --> 00:30:51.252
an unexpected change that
you did not like or want,
00:30:51.252 --> 00:30:53.760
and then write about what happened
00:30:53.760 --> 00:30:55.920
and write about an
unexpected positive outcome
00:30:55.920 --> 00:30:57.360
that emerged from that experience,
00:30:57.360 --> 00:30:58.320
that with perspective now,
00:30:58.320 --> 00:31:00.570
you can look back on
and see and appreciate
00:31:00.570 --> 00:31:01.770
and recognize.
00:31:01.770 --> 00:31:03.600
So those would be three things.
00:31:03.600 --> 00:31:05.884
A lot of them involve some
degree of self-reflection,
00:31:05.884 --> 00:31:08.280
and pausing and doing all the things
00:31:08.280 --> 00:31:09.530
we're talking about today
00:31:11.010 --> 00:31:14.160
and making and committing
and recommitting, you know,
00:31:14.160 --> 00:31:17.370
and then also giving yourself some grace,
00:31:17.370 --> 00:31:20.670
and a reminder of the fact
that you can get through things
00:31:20.670 --> 00:31:24.480
that are difficult and that
there might be some potentially
00:31:24.480 --> 00:31:27.090
unexpected benefit to something
that you're going through
00:31:27.090 --> 00:31:28.190
right now that's hard.
00:31:29.490 --> 00:31:32.589
- You just use a phrase
"committing and recommitting,"
00:31:32.589 --> 00:31:36.180
and you also use the terms,
'give yourself some grace."
00:31:36.180 --> 00:31:39.180
But what I'm hearing is
that sometimes we try it
00:31:39.180 --> 00:31:40.100
and it doesn't work,
00:31:40.100 --> 00:31:43.500
but don't abandon it, that
you need to try again,
00:31:43.500 --> 00:31:46.740
that we naturally will
resist these new behaviors,
00:31:46.740 --> 00:31:48.270
even if they're good behaviors.
00:31:48.270 --> 00:31:49.103
- Yep.
00:31:49.103 --> 00:31:51.303
- That's our natural tendency.
00:31:53.670 --> 00:31:55.680
Rachel, in terms of,
00:31:55.680 --> 00:31:58.560
if people wanna learn
more and reach out to you,
00:31:58.560 --> 00:32:00.300
what's the best way for
them to do that with you?
00:32:00.300 --> 00:32:01.950
How to reach you online?
00:32:01.950 --> 00:32:03.360
- Yeah, best way, LinkedIn.
00:32:03.360 --> 00:32:05.700
It's where I'm most present
most often as you know,
00:32:05.700 --> 00:32:09.240
so (chuckling) follow me,
my LinkedIn is defaulted
00:32:09.240 --> 00:32:10.890
to follow so if you wanna connect,
00:32:10.890 --> 00:32:13.530
click the little three dots
next to where it says more info
00:32:13.530 --> 00:32:14.610
or something, you can connect.
00:32:14.610 --> 00:32:16.800
Send a message that Mike and
I always love to hear, right,
00:32:16.800 --> 00:32:18.960
when someone listens to an episode,
00:32:18.960 --> 00:32:20.970
and really has some insight
from it, that's beneficial.
00:32:20.970 --> 00:32:21.810
We love knowing.
00:32:21.810 --> 00:32:22.643
It's not weird.
00:32:22.643 --> 00:32:25.440
It's like, we like when
people reach out and tell us,
00:32:25.440 --> 00:32:27.780
so please, if you've been
impacted by this episode,
00:32:27.780 --> 00:32:29.130
reach out and let us know.
00:32:29.130 --> 00:32:30.990
So LinkedIn would be a primary way.
00:32:30.990 --> 00:32:32.910
If you want to learn more
about the classes I'm doing
00:32:32.910 --> 00:32:34.980
with Simon Sinek's company,
00:32:34.980 --> 00:32:38.160
you can just go to
Simonsinek.com and lick on live
00:32:38.160 --> 00:32:40.050
online classes.
00:32:40.050 --> 00:32:42.540
And those are for individuals
and then if you want,
00:32:42.540 --> 00:32:45.330
you know, to bring me into,
I work with organizations,
00:32:45.330 --> 00:32:47.340
leaders, and teams,
conferences, associations,
00:32:47.340 --> 00:32:48.390
all that kind of stuff as a speaker,
00:32:48.390 --> 00:32:49.920
facilitator, and trainer,
00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:51.750
and so the easiest way to
do that again, LinkedIn,
00:32:51.750 --> 00:32:53.850
or on my website, unmutedlife.com.
00:32:53.850 --> 00:32:56.310
There's a place you can go
where it's work with me.
00:32:56.310 --> 00:32:58.440
And you could, you know,
book like a 15 or 20 minute
00:32:58.440 --> 00:33:01.620
discovery call, if you have
an organization or association
00:33:01.620 --> 00:33:04.140
that you think would
benefit from what I'm doing.
00:33:04.140 --> 00:33:06.180
So, and this is one of the
things I talk about is how
00:33:06.180 --> 00:33:09.180
to navigate change and give
people some confidence,
00:33:09.180 --> 00:33:10.747
just like that one woman
came up to me and said,
00:33:10.747 --> 00:33:12.829
"Wow, I kind of, I was feeling depleted.
00:33:12.829 --> 00:33:15.037
"I was feeling overwhelmed
and now I feel energized
00:33:15.037 --> 00:33:15.870
"and equipped."
00:33:15.870 --> 00:33:19.950
Like that's what I want people
to leave experiences with me
00:33:19.950 --> 00:33:21.813
thinking and feeling so.
00:33:22.770 --> 00:33:24.120
- So you've given us a number of ways
00:33:24.120 --> 00:33:25.200
that we can reach out to you.
00:33:25.200 --> 00:33:27.793
We will include those in the show notes
00:33:27.793 --> 00:33:29.647
and for those listening and you say,
00:33:29.647 --> 00:33:31.537
"Gosh, this was a really great episode,
00:33:31.537 --> 00:33:34.590
"I wanna go find the other
episode that she's on,"
00:33:34.590 --> 00:33:36.900
I just kind of looked it
up while you were speaking,
00:33:36.900 --> 00:33:38.509
it was episode number 29.
00:33:38.509 --> 00:33:42.090
This episode I think is
gonna be episode number 80.
00:33:42.090 --> 00:33:46.980
So if you go back to the
Bench Builder podcast archive,
00:33:46.980 --> 00:33:48.630
it's episode number 29,
00:33:48.630 --> 00:33:52.230
and you can hear that first
installment that Rachel and I
00:33:52.230 --> 00:33:54.532
recorded over a year ago.
00:33:54.532 --> 00:33:57.570
Rachel, again, what a treat.
00:33:57.570 --> 00:33:58.950
Thank you so much.
00:33:58.950 --> 00:34:00.300
- Yeah, this was great.
00:34:00.300 --> 00:34:03.057
I hope that it gives people
opportunity to pause and to,
00:34:03.057 --> 00:34:05.460
and to recalibrate and do
something good for themselves.
00:34:05.460 --> 00:34:07.893
And I always love talking to you.
00:34:08.970 --> 00:34:10.125
- Well, it's mutual.
00:34:10.125 --> 00:34:13.950
I also wanna thank our
listeners for joining us today.
00:34:13.950 --> 00:34:16.589
We upload the latest
episode on Apple, Google,
00:34:16.589 --> 00:34:19.320
and Spotify every Thursday,
00:34:19.320 --> 00:34:21.690
so if you've enjoyed
this episode with Rachel,
00:34:21.690 --> 00:34:23.610
please subscribe.
00:34:23.610 --> 00:34:25.364
I've got a question for you, the listener.
00:34:25.364 --> 00:34:27.600
Is your company growing quickly?
00:34:27.600 --> 00:34:29.940
Are you worried that you
won't have the right people
00:34:29.940 --> 00:34:33.300
and processes in place to
handle that increased workload?
00:34:33.300 --> 00:34:35.970
Or maybe you're not sure if
you've got the right planning
00:34:35.970 --> 00:34:37.470
systems in place.
00:34:37.470 --> 00:34:41.010
If you answered yes to
any of those, let's talk.
00:34:41.010 --> 00:34:42.270
You can go to our website,
00:34:42.270 --> 00:34:46.320
bench-builders.com to
schedule a discovery call.
00:34:46.320 --> 00:34:49.170
We'll explore ways to help you
solve those nagging problems,
00:34:49.170 --> 00:34:51.918
so you can scale faster and smarter.
00:34:51.918 --> 00:34:53.539
So I wanna thank you for joining us,
00:34:53.539 --> 00:34:56.790
and I hope you have picked
up on some tips from Rachel
00:34:56.790 --> 00:35:00.630
that will help you "Get
Unstuck and On Target."
00:35:00.630 --> 00:35:02.361
Until next time.
00:35:02.361 --> 00:35:04.944
(upbeat music)