June 2

Episode 77: How to Grow Mental Muscle with Julie Bronsteatter

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In this week’s episode, Mike and guest Julie Bronsteatter discuss how to grow your mental muscle and define what it is and how you grow it? Julie also talks about how she niched down to work with female leaders and not just female leaders, but female leaders who do not have children. That is a niche that we’ve not seen before but it’s clearly needed. 

Julie Bronsteatter’s Biography

Julie is a certified professional coach who is passionate about partnering with leaders to confidently take charge of their personal and professional lives. She has 15 years of corporate experience, starting her career in advertising as an account manager and transitioning into HR as a leader, executive coach, and mentor in both the entertainment and advertising industries. Her passion for leadership development and coaching led her to start her own coaching practice in 2021. 

Julie’s motto is “The ROI of a human being far outweighs the ROI of anything else in life”. 

In This Episode, You’ll Learn…

  • How to grow mental muscle.
  • The three core muscles that are at the root of mental fitness.
  • Why is it important to set boundaries.
  • How to use self-command, and build that mental muscle.
  • Learn who your judge and our saboteurs are.

Quotables

  • “Like in meetings, I never wanted to come across as too enthusiastic or spastic or maybe over caffeinated if you will. And so I used to see it as a barrier and now I’ve truly embraced it as my superpower and believe me, no caffeine over here.” Julie Bronsteatter
  • “I took that moment of pause, it was during that moment of pause that I actually found a mental fitness program that was coming at such a perfect time in my life because at that point, my brain was my enemy, it was not my friend.” Julie Bronsteatter
  • “I will never say that that bad experience was a good thing. However, I’ve been able to find meaning and I’ve been able to see gifts and opportunities that came about because of that situation or because that happened to me.” Julie Bronsteatter

Links & Resources Mentioned…

Read The Transcript

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(mellow music)

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- Welcome back to the Get
Unstuck And on Target podcast.

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I'm Mike O'Neill with Bench Builders

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and we help growing manufacturers
improve their people,

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process and planning systems
so they can scale smarter

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and faster.

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Joining me today from Chicago
is Julie Bronsteatter.

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Julie describes herself
as the energizing coach,

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and you'll soon find out why.

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She's a certified professional
coach whose passion

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is helping child free female leaders

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who are feeling overwhelmed in
searching for relief and joy,

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find personal and
professional sense of balance.

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Julie has 15 years of corporate experience

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starting her career in
advertising as an account manager

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and transitioning into HR as a leader,

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executive coach and mentor
in both the entertainment

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and advertising industries.

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Welcome, Julie.
- Thank you so much, Mike.

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I'm excited to be here.

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- Julie, this, the energizing coach.

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(Julie chuckles)

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I suspect it's a client that
probably came up with that.

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What is it about you that's energizing?

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- You know, honestly, Mike,
it's one of my superpowers

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and I used to think that it was
something that held me back.

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It used to be something that
I was really mindful of.

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Like in meetings, I never
wanted to come across

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as too enthusiastic or spastic or maybe

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over caffeinated if you will.

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And so I used to see it as a barrier

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and now I've truly embraced
it as my superpower

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and believe me, no caffeine over here.

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You'll never see me,
you don't wanna see me

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having any caffeine.

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But yeah, it's just, it's in my DNA.

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And I find that the clients that want

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to work with me are really attracted.

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It's like energy attracts like energy.

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They're looking for that
type of energy in their life.

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- Well, I'm so glad that you have come

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to embrace it as a superpower.

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You know, when I was reading your bio

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I had to kind of chuckle to myself.

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You came out of an HR background

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and you may or may not know
that's my corporate background,

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something about HR.

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We'll probably come back to HR here

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as we have this conversation.

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- Yeah.
- But,

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you have been in an
industry of entertainment

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and advertising, you've
been in leadership roles,

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you've been in sales roles.

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How did that prepare you
to be the energizing coach?

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In what ways?

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- Hmm, that's a good question, Mike.

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You know, I think in
my time in advertising,

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you know, I worked in client
services and so naturally

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the account manager not
only has to be, you know,

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the energetic tie to the client,

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like keeping the energy up
for them, but I have to be,

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I had to be the one to keep the
energy up with the team too,

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'cause for all of you
that work in advertising

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or have worked in
advertising or work in sales,

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like, you know, all the fluctuating things

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and I had to be the constant
to keep everyone moving forward

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and keep everyone
motivated to move forward.

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So I really used that power
in that moment for sure.

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And I mean, in my HR days, that's to keep

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the leadership team going, that's to keep

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the executive team going
and that's, you know,

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keeping the employees motivated

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with what the mission, vision
and values were all about.

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- I don't wanna go too far
down this as a tangent,

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but something about HR is
you're somewhat positioned

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between the key leadership
and the employees.

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You want the employees to view
you as an employee advocate,

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but also if all you do is
advocate for the employees

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and if it comes potentially at the expense

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of what's in the best
interest of the company,

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then you have to kind of
straddle that back and forth.

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Does that make sense
what I'm trying to say?

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- It does and it's actually one
of the reasons why I left HR

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was because I wanted
some, I felt such tension

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that I had to straddle that.

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I had such tension that I
couldn't focus on the individual.

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I couldn't see the
employee as an individual.

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I had to see the person through the lens

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of the organization as an employee.

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And what motivated me
and one of the drivers

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in me leaving that field
and doing what I'm doing now

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is because now I'm truly as a coach,

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I'm there on behalf of the individual

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and the individual as a whole.

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They are the company, they are the brand,

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they are the employee, they're everything

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and when I was working in HR
there was a lot of tension

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with my personal values
related specifically

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to the question that you asked.

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- I appreciate you sharing that.

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As you probably know a
number of our listeners

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come out of HR.

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I have nothing but the
highest degree of respect.

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That is a very, very
difficult profession to claim.

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- Yeah.
- Because you're constantly

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kinda in that middle thing.

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What we talked about before
we decided to record this

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is of all the things that
Julie could talk about,

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what might be something that our listeners

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might find most beneficial
that you can show

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your enthusiasm for?

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And we kind of came around
to the topic of mental muscle

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and defining what it is and
if you've got mental muscle,

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how do you grow it?

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So I would like to kind of
use that as the main topic

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for our conversation, how
to grow mental muscle.

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And if that is our topic,
what does that mean to you?

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- Yeah, I mean that, so in
2020, aside from the pandemic,

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there were a lot of unexpected life events

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that happened for me-
- Okay.

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- Which made me leave
my job rather abruptly

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in June of 2020.

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And this has a point to
mental muscle, I promise.

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So when I left in June
of 2020 rather abruptly,

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and I took that moment of pause,

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it was during that moment of
pause that I actually found

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a mental fitness program that was coming

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at such a perfect time in my
life because at that point,

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my brain was my enemy,
it was not my friend.

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And the whole purpose of mental fitness

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is utilizing your brain as
your friend versus your enemy.

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And this program that I found,

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which is a program that I take
my clients through as well

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has really, I mean, I'm
essentially exercising

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my brain every day, weakening
the negative side of the brain

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and creating new neural
pathways that activate

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the positive side of my brain.

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And there's a number of
ways that we can do it.

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There's actually three
core muscles at the root

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of mental fitness that we
can certainly talk about.

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But, and here, of course,
I forgot the question

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that you asked me, Mike, but
that's how I really found

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my passion and excitement about
mental fitness was it was,

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it kind of came to me at the right time

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and place given my life circumstance.

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- Well, that being said,
it came at the right time,

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it resonated with you, it
resonated to the point that

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that it's a core part of
how you work with clients.

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Let's talk about that a little bit-

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- Yeah.
- Because you described

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a muscle, your brain having a muscle.

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- Yeah.
- You're exercising

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certain muscles and letting
other muscles atrophy.

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- So according to the research,

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which this is all based
on the "New York Times"

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bestselling book, "Positive
Intelligence" by Shirzad Chamine

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who is a researcher
professor out of Stanford.

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He used to be the CEO of
Coactive Training CTI,

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which is a world renowned
coaching certification program

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so he's very well qualified
to be doing the work

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that he's doing.

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And so according to the research

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there's three core muscles at
the root of mental fitness.

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There's your saboteur interceptor,

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your self command muscle and your sage.

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And you work each muscle
out in different ways.

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So the saboteur interceptor
is essentially you work it out

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by exposing your inner
judge or your inner critic

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you might know it as.

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Maybe you know it as your inner gremlin.

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So you expose that judge and
see it more as a third person.

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So in the research it calls the judge

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and actually these nine
accomplices that the judge has,

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which the research calls it saboteurs.

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When you see your judge and
saboteurs as third parties,

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they instantly are disassociated
with your true self

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'cause your true self would never feed you

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the lies that your judge feeds you

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like you're not good enough,
you're not smart enough

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or what your accomplice saboteurs,

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which the research says, you
know, labeling saboteurs,

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like the pleaser, the
avoider, the hyper-rational.

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So there's nine total and
everyone has one or two.

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So when you expose those
lies and start seeing them,

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it's almost like you've
turned the light on

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at the haunted house.
- Yes.

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- The second you start seeing
those ghouls and you know,

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ghosts that are popping
out in front of you,

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the second you can see 'em
well, they're not as scary.

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And so the second you can expose that,

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it instantly weakens it.

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So that's one muscle that we work out.

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The second muscle is
the self command muscle,

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which is essentially weight
lifting for your brain.

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And weight lifting through these
specific sensory exercises.

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So if you're comfortable
in trying this with me,

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what I mean by a specific sensory exercise

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is rub two fingertips together,

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but do it with such attention
that you can feel the ridges

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on both of your fingertips.

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- As you know, we're videoing this,

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I've closed my eyes and sure
enough, I can, all right,

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I now can feel the ridges.
- You're feeling that right?

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So what this does is it actually what the,

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these specific type of sensory exercises,

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they get you out of your head.

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Out of your head where you're judged

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and all those saboteurs are feeding you

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all of that negative
talk, all of those lies,

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it gets you out of there and
it gets you into your body.

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Because when we can focus
on that and quiet the mind,

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even for as little as 10 seconds,

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MRI data actually shows
that the positive side

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of your brain starts lighting up.

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And so when you come out
of something like that,

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and yes, it is a form of meditation,

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but you certainly don't have
to be in a meditative mindset

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to do this.

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I actually, I coach with a meditation rock

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and I'm rubbing it constantly
when I'm with my clients

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so that I'm continuing to
activate the positive side

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of my brain and keep myself very focused.

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- Interesting.
- So that I am able

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to respond how I want to respond
versus reacting on impulse

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or reacting on the messages from my judge

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or my accomplice saboteurs,
which mine are pleaser

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an avoider.

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Right here, I'll just admit it-

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- Gotcha.
- Right here.

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And the third muscle is the sage muscle,

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which the research calls the
positive side of the brain.

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And you work this muscle out by seeing

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the gifts and opportunities in
any outcome or circumstance.

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And what it's not saying is
make every negative situation

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positive.

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Like we're not trying to be Pollyanna

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and just flip something on its head.

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My mom passed away very
abruptly in March of 2020

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and I will never say
that that bad experience

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was a good thing.

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However, I've been able to find meaning

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and I've been able to see gifts

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and opportunities that came about

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because of that situation or
because that happened to me.

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Same thing with the pandemic, right?

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Like I wouldn't wish a
pandemic on us ever again,

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but it happened.

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And so many of us are talking about

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the gifts and opportunities
that came from that.

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You and I wouldn't be talking right now

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had it not been for the pandemic.

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So it's not about flipping
things on its head

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and seeing, you know, oh,
this truly was a good thing.

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It's just about finding
meaning and opportunities

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from the things that
happened in our lives.

00:13:07.490 --> 00:13:10.531
- Yeah, I love the mnemonic of the rock.

00:13:10.531 --> 00:13:13.990
Right off, I actually
have something that would,

00:13:13.990 --> 00:13:16.320
might do the same thing
that helps you stay focused

00:13:16.320 --> 00:13:20.800
on what your role as a coach may be.

00:13:20.800 --> 00:13:23.820
You know, I introduced you with impressive

00:13:23.820 --> 00:13:26.054
professional background.

00:13:26.054 --> 00:13:28.740
I know you work with all types of clients,

00:13:28.740 --> 00:13:33.608
but if you have a niche, female leaders

00:13:33.608 --> 00:13:36.900
and not just female
leaders, female leaders

00:13:36.900 --> 00:13:40.533
who do not have children
is how I introduced you.

00:13:41.781 --> 00:13:44.530
Can you share a little bit about that?

00:13:44.530 --> 00:13:47.452
That is a niche that I've not seen before

00:13:47.452 --> 00:13:49.520
but it's clearly needed.

00:13:49.520 --> 00:13:52.442
What is it about female
leaders who don't have children

00:13:52.442 --> 00:13:54.942
that would probably say, you know,

00:13:54.942 --> 00:13:57.000
Julie could be of help to me?

00:13:57.000 --> 00:13:58.515
What is it they're experiencing

00:13:58.515 --> 00:14:01.002
that you could help them with?

00:14:01.002 --> 00:14:02.440
- Yeah.

00:14:02.440 --> 00:14:05.745
So the way I describe it
is consciously child free.

00:14:05.745 --> 00:14:08.552
So I have been consciously child free

00:14:08.552 --> 00:14:10.660
let's see here, I'm 40 years old.

00:14:10.660 --> 00:14:14.714
I made that conscious
decision at probably 25.

00:14:14.714 --> 00:14:18.057
So when we'll just do a side tangent.

00:14:18.057 --> 00:14:20.676
When I finally determine that
I wasn't gonna have children,

00:14:20.676 --> 00:14:23.767
I would go out on dates with these guys

00:14:24.762 --> 00:14:27.300
and I would pretty much
introduce myself and say,

00:14:27.300 --> 00:14:28.840
if you're looking for the
mother of your children,

00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:29.760
I'm not it.

00:14:29.760 --> 00:14:33.850
And that always created
some fun conversation.

00:14:33.850 --> 00:14:35.190
- I can imagine.
- But...

00:14:35.190 --> 00:14:36.130
Yeah, yeah.

00:14:36.130 --> 00:14:40.170
So, what I found in my
experience, so of course you,

00:14:40.170 --> 00:14:42.500
you coach the people who
essentially you are, right,

00:14:42.500 --> 00:14:44.632
because you've gone through
these experiences before.

00:14:44.632 --> 00:14:48.582
And I found while this is absolutely

00:14:48.582 --> 00:14:51.718
a growing segment in the corporate world,

00:14:51.718 --> 00:14:55.770
it's still very much overlooked.

00:14:55.770 --> 00:14:59.950
There's so many resources out
there for working parents,

00:14:59.950 --> 00:15:03.390
working moms and
absolutely there should be,

00:15:03.390 --> 00:15:05.870
I'm not saying take those away,

00:15:05.870 --> 00:15:08.110
but there aren't any resources

00:15:08.110 --> 00:15:11.700
for consciously child free men or women.

00:15:11.700 --> 00:15:16.130
And I find that with me specifically,

00:15:16.130 --> 00:15:19.050
I had a really hard
time setting boundaries.

00:15:19.050 --> 00:15:24.050
And I was constantly feeling
like I was comparing myself

00:15:24.436 --> 00:15:28.160
to the priorities that other
people had in their life

00:15:28.160 --> 00:15:30.300
and almost putting a
weight against my own.

00:15:30.300 --> 00:15:32.408
- Yes.
- So when I would have plans,

00:15:32.408 --> 00:15:34.680
dinner plans with a friend at six o'clock

00:15:34.680 --> 00:15:36.933
and needed to leave work right at five

00:15:36.933 --> 00:15:39.690
and a boss would say, hey,
I need you to stay late

00:15:39.690 --> 00:15:41.287
'cause I have to go pick up my kid,

00:15:41.287 --> 00:15:44.615
I would automatically
put more weight on that

00:15:44.615 --> 00:15:48.724
versus my own plans that
I had had set for months.

00:15:48.724 --> 00:15:51.820
And so it was, I had
a very, very hard time

00:15:51.820 --> 00:15:54.380
setting boundaries so I
do a lot of boundary work

00:15:54.380 --> 00:15:56.711
with my clients.

00:15:56.711 --> 00:16:01.711
And also the values and the
purpose that we have in life.

00:16:03.032 --> 00:16:06.980
Society naturally tells us that our values

00:16:06.980 --> 00:16:08.940
and purpose, you know, a
lot of times when people

00:16:08.940 --> 00:16:10.430
are putting a purpose statement together

00:16:10.430 --> 00:16:12.380
or a north star statement
or a why statement,

00:16:12.380 --> 00:16:15.060
whatever it may be, a lot
of times you're prompted,

00:16:15.060 --> 00:16:18.360
think about how you want
to leave your children.

00:16:18.360 --> 00:16:20.700
Think about the day
your children are born.

00:16:20.700 --> 00:16:23.000
What do you wanna leave
for them in the world?

00:16:24.030 --> 00:16:26.393
And so when you don't have that,

00:16:27.250 --> 00:16:29.680
I help my clients connect to their purpose

00:16:29.680 --> 00:16:31.530
in a different way.

00:16:31.530 --> 00:16:35.360
You know, what legacy do you wanna leave

00:16:35.360 --> 00:16:39.450
for the sake of you versus
the sake of someone else?

00:16:39.450 --> 00:16:44.300
And don't get me wrong, my
why is all about the sake

00:16:44.300 --> 00:16:45.970
for my nieces and nephews.

00:16:45.970 --> 00:16:48.423
My why is all about the
sake of other people,

00:16:49.740 --> 00:16:52.100
but it's just another
way to start thinking

00:16:52.100 --> 00:16:53.846
about your purpose in life outside

00:16:53.846 --> 00:16:56.333
of what societal norms are.

00:16:57.610 --> 00:16:59.203
- What I love about what
you've described here

00:16:59.203 --> 00:17:02.493
is you are speaking from
firsthand experience

00:17:02.493 --> 00:17:07.000
in your corporate role
and what you have found

00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:11.080
and the challenge of having boundaries.

00:17:11.080 --> 00:17:15.765
And you've kind of put
out, to my understanding,

00:17:15.765 --> 00:17:20.210
is that choosing not to have children

00:17:20.210 --> 00:17:23.476
shouldn't be something
that people might would use

00:17:23.476 --> 00:17:26.440
in a negative way or take advantage of.

00:17:26.440 --> 00:17:31.300
And I kinda sense that
what might be implied is

00:17:31.300 --> 00:17:33.760
I have to leave to go
take care of my children.

00:17:33.760 --> 00:17:35.826
You don't have children
therefore you can stay.

00:17:35.826 --> 00:17:38.791
You didn't say that but
is that kind of the,

00:17:38.791 --> 00:17:42.930
almost the sense of the message
that you might would hear

00:17:42.930 --> 00:17:44.210
in that situation?
- Yeah.

00:17:44.210 --> 00:17:47.822
And there's this unintended expectation

00:17:47.822 --> 00:17:51.240
that if you don't have children, well,

00:17:51.240 --> 00:17:53.349
then your career is your baby.

00:17:53.349 --> 00:17:58.349
And I would say that's
more my descriptor now,

00:17:59.150 --> 00:18:02.970
now that I'm a coach and that this is,

00:18:02.970 --> 00:18:06.630
this is the career that I
truly know deep in my gut

00:18:06.630 --> 00:18:08.730
and in my heart that I'm pulled to do,

00:18:08.730 --> 00:18:11.480
I would absolutely say that
this career is my baby.

00:18:11.480 --> 00:18:13.460
And that I see my, you know, my clients,

00:18:13.460 --> 00:18:15.279
not as my children, I
wouldn't say that, but like,

00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.360
I can see a connection to them in a way

00:18:18.360 --> 00:18:21.390
that was so much different
than my, you know,

00:18:21.390 --> 00:18:24.358
than the people, my
colleagues that I worked with.

00:18:24.358 --> 00:18:26.920
But before, before I found this,

00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:29.960
my career was my means to do the things

00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:32.248
that I was passionate about, to travel,

00:18:32.248 --> 00:18:36.028
to go out to dinner, to be with friends,

00:18:36.028 --> 00:18:39.260
to, you know, when they, when
my friends would call and say,

00:18:39.260 --> 00:18:40.620
let's go to Vegas this weekend.

00:18:40.620 --> 00:18:41.600
Okay.

00:18:41.600 --> 00:18:43.910
You know, there were other
things that were important to me

00:18:43.910 --> 00:18:46.690
and my job gave me a means to do that.

00:18:46.690 --> 00:18:50.186
My job did not fulfill me
in a way that people assumed

00:18:50.186 --> 00:18:52.120
because I didn't have children.

00:18:52.120 --> 00:18:53.440
Because if I didn't have children,

00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:56.060
clearly I had to be
fulfilled by my career.

00:18:56.060 --> 00:18:58.230
That was, it was an either or thing.

00:18:58.230 --> 00:18:59.740
There weren't other things in life.

00:18:59.740 --> 00:19:02.293
So there was some of that as well.

00:19:03.900 --> 00:19:08.340
- You know, Julie, you shared
kind of an abrupt transition

00:19:08.340 --> 00:19:09.173
professionally.

00:19:09.173 --> 00:19:12.353
You shared the sudden loss of your mother.

00:19:12.353 --> 00:19:15.341
It may be you've already
answered this question,

00:19:15.341 --> 00:19:17.888
but I try to ask each of our guests

00:19:17.888 --> 00:19:21.492
to reflect on a situation where either you

00:19:21.492 --> 00:19:25.628
or a client got stuck and what
did it take to get unstuck?

00:19:25.628 --> 00:19:29.525
Which approach would you like
to take to answer that one?

00:19:29.525 --> 00:19:32.730
- You know, before we talked, Mike,

00:19:32.730 --> 00:19:36.310
I was trying to think of
if I would share a personal

00:19:36.310 --> 00:19:37.710
or a client perspective.

00:19:37.710 --> 00:19:39.490
And since we we've talked
about mental muscle

00:19:39.490 --> 00:19:41.380
and since I did bring up
the passing of my mom,

00:19:41.380 --> 00:19:43.432
I think I'll talk about a personal one.

00:19:43.432 --> 00:19:48.432
So when I started the
mental fitness bootcamp,

00:19:50.736 --> 00:19:54.450
the muscle that I worked the hardest

00:19:54.450 --> 00:19:55.780
was the self command muscle.

00:19:55.780 --> 00:19:58.550
So if you remember it was
doing those specific sensory

00:19:58.550 --> 00:19:59.383
exercises.

00:19:59.383 --> 00:20:04.158
I was very stuck in grief,
I was very stuck in grief.

00:20:04.158 --> 00:20:08.710
And the self command, by practicing

00:20:08.710 --> 00:20:11.323
my self command and building that muscle

00:20:11.323 --> 00:20:16.323
I was able to turn my
grief from sadness to love.

00:20:18.850 --> 00:20:19.950
And I'll tell you how.

00:20:20.980 --> 00:20:24.450
When a memory of my mom would
come up and FYI everyone,

00:20:24.450 --> 00:20:26.710
Carol Nana, best woman on earth,

00:20:26.710 --> 00:20:28.510
I'm just gonna give her a shout out.

00:20:29.519 --> 00:20:31.130
And my best friend, my person in life,

00:20:31.130 --> 00:20:34.830
I just, she is in my
bones all day every day.

00:20:34.830 --> 00:20:38.410
And so when a memory
would come up about her,

00:20:38.410 --> 00:20:41.970
I would just get overtaken with sadness.

00:20:41.970 --> 00:20:46.777
And my victim saboteur
was front and center,

00:20:46.777 --> 00:20:49.507
and it was debilitating.

00:20:49.507 --> 00:20:54.220
And through this program I
was able to get very curious

00:20:54.220 --> 00:20:56.830
about where this grief
was living in my body

00:20:57.800 --> 00:21:00.820
and where it was living
was right above my heart.

00:21:00.820 --> 00:21:01.924
- Interesting.
- And it was,

00:21:01.924 --> 00:21:06.924
warm and it was tight and it
would go up into my throat.

00:21:10.259 --> 00:21:13.280
So when these sad memories would come up,

00:21:13.280 --> 00:21:17.300
I would close my eyes and
feel where that grief lived.

00:21:17.300 --> 00:21:20.760
And the more curious I
got about the feeling,

00:21:20.760 --> 00:21:24.476
the more relaxed my body became.

00:21:24.476 --> 00:21:29.030
And the more my mindset
shifted from sadness

00:21:29.030 --> 00:21:31.300
to remembering that these memories,

00:21:31.300 --> 00:21:33.640
these memories aren't sad.

00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:36.290
It's sad that I don't get
to have any more of them,

00:21:36.290 --> 00:21:38.517
but what's not sad is
the memories themselves.

00:21:38.517 --> 00:21:42.300
They're freaking awesome, happy memories.

00:21:42.300 --> 00:21:44.083
They've made me who I am today.

00:21:45.580 --> 00:21:50.580
And so that's when it changed from sadness

00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:55.730
to an overwhelming sense of
love and honor for my mom.

00:21:55.730 --> 00:21:58.930
And I was able to start seeing the gifts

00:21:58.930 --> 00:22:01.250
and opportunities that were coming about

00:22:01.250 --> 00:22:04.640
and that's what drove me to
get a coaching certification

00:22:04.640 --> 00:22:06.593
and do what I'm doing now.

00:22:07.820 --> 00:22:11.799
- Thank you for sharing
that from the heart.

00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:16.338
But it describes you at your core,

00:22:16.338 --> 00:22:19.353
and I think that comes
through loud and clear

00:22:19.353 --> 00:22:24.353
in how you would interact
with your clients.

00:22:24.732 --> 00:22:29.732
The topic of mental
muscles, does that come up

00:22:30.570 --> 00:22:33.500
pretty regularly with
your coaching clients?

00:22:33.500 --> 00:22:35.670
- It does, it's part of my process.

00:22:35.670 --> 00:22:40.670
So the first three months
of my six month engagements

00:22:40.670 --> 00:22:43.630
are all about gaining clarity.

00:22:43.630 --> 00:22:48.330
So we focus on, I call
it the who, what and how.

00:22:48.330 --> 00:22:50.970
Like, what are your goals,
how are you showing up

00:22:50.970 --> 00:22:54.153
in the world, who you are,
and what's holding you back?

00:22:54.153 --> 00:22:56.349
And the what's holding you back section

00:22:56.349 --> 00:22:59.410
is the part where we talk
about the mental muscle.

00:22:59.410 --> 00:23:00.700
- Okay.
- Because we start

00:23:00.700 --> 00:23:02.700
with talking about our
judge and our saboteurs,

00:23:02.700 --> 00:23:04.760
those messages that hold us back

00:23:04.760 --> 00:23:07.712
and then we develop tools to combat them

00:23:07.712 --> 00:23:10.054
constantly doing exercises every day,

00:23:10.054 --> 00:23:13.280
so that we can start
tapping into our true self,

00:23:13.280 --> 00:23:16.800
our inner knowing our
intuition, our gut, our heart,

00:23:16.800 --> 00:23:18.410
whatever you wanna call it.

00:23:18.410 --> 00:23:20.372
And the second we can
start tapping into that,

00:23:20.372 --> 00:23:22.970
then we know we're
growing the mental muscle

00:23:22.970 --> 00:23:25.470
to truly make the
transformation and move forward.

00:23:26.610 --> 00:23:29.240
- You know, the term mental
muscle is a new term for me.

00:23:29.240 --> 00:23:31.178
You introduced it to me
when we were talking prior

00:23:31.178 --> 00:23:34.180
to scheduling this podcast recording.

00:23:34.180 --> 00:23:37.938
I liken it though, just
to regular muscle fitness.

00:23:37.938 --> 00:23:39.145
- Yeah.
- Mental,

00:23:39.145 --> 00:23:43.199
if you don't exercise those muscles

00:23:43.199 --> 00:23:46.632
they atrophy do they not?

00:23:46.632 --> 00:23:48.585
- You are absolutely right.

00:23:48.585 --> 00:23:50.601
Yeah.

00:23:50.601 --> 00:23:51.914
Go ahead.

00:23:51.914 --> 00:23:54.760
- I guess what I was gonna
ask is that as you work

00:23:54.760 --> 00:23:58.760
through that three part
framework with your clients,

00:23:58.760 --> 00:24:02.364
what do you find is
oftentimes one of the biggest

00:24:02.364 --> 00:24:06.200
and the most common challenge that clients

00:24:06.200 --> 00:24:09.600
have to work even harder at?

00:24:09.600 --> 00:24:11.963
- And I'm laughing because I,

00:24:13.569 --> 00:24:17.140
my clients are like, I'm gonna
rub two fingertips together

00:24:17.140 --> 00:24:20.609
and like, it seems too
easy, it seems too simple.

00:24:20.609 --> 00:24:23.850
You know, and we start the program

00:24:23.850 --> 00:24:25.920
by practicing our self command.

00:24:25.920 --> 00:24:29.210
So the program has, it's
a very robust program.

00:24:29.210 --> 00:24:31.810
It has an app, there's
the book that I mentioned,

00:24:31.810 --> 00:24:34.020
there's daily exercises,
there's weekly videos.

00:24:34.020 --> 00:24:35.766
I'm meeting with them on a weekly basis.

00:24:35.766 --> 00:24:37.624
And sure enough, that first week

00:24:37.624 --> 00:24:39.780
when they're really, you know,

00:24:39.780 --> 00:24:43.090
doing these specific sensory
exercises for two minutes,

00:24:43.090 --> 00:24:46.282
three times a day, they're
like, I'm wiggling my toes

00:24:46.282 --> 00:24:49.540
and I'm trying to find
as many individual toes

00:24:49.540 --> 00:24:52.730
as I possibly can, this is a joke.

00:24:52.730 --> 00:24:56.969
So it's just like when you go
to the gym for the first time

00:24:56.969 --> 00:25:00.330
and your trainer's like, oh,
you've never worked out before.

00:25:00.330 --> 00:25:02.050
We're gonna give you two pound weights

00:25:02.050 --> 00:25:03.485
and you're like, excuse me?

00:25:03.485 --> 00:25:06.050
And then when you lift
the two pound weights,

00:25:06.050 --> 00:25:08.487
you know, you do about 25 reps,
or so you're like, oh, dang,

00:25:08.487 --> 00:25:10.928
I'm feeling the burn a little bit.

00:25:10.928 --> 00:25:12.790
And the more you do it
and the more you do it,

00:25:12.790 --> 00:25:14.480
well, then you graduate
to the five pound weights,

00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:15.570
and then the 10 pound weights.

00:25:15.570 --> 00:25:17.490
It's the small, consistent changes

00:25:17.490 --> 00:25:19.010
that make the biggest impact.

00:25:19.010 --> 00:25:22.204
So really, I just encourage
them to trust the process.

00:25:22.204 --> 00:25:27.130
And obviously trust the process
if they put the work in.

00:25:27.130 --> 00:25:28.380
If you don't book the
work in then you're not

00:25:28.380 --> 00:25:29.930
gonna build the muscle.

00:25:29.930 --> 00:25:31.512
But that's really the biggest point of,

00:25:31.512 --> 00:25:33.690
I would say frustration or challenge

00:25:33.690 --> 00:25:36.580
is just believing that if they do it,

00:25:36.580 --> 00:25:38.448
it's going to actually work.

00:25:38.448 --> 00:25:40.113
- I appreciate that.

00:25:40.113 --> 00:25:42.350
You know, we've talked
about you coming out

00:25:42.350 --> 00:25:45.252
of a business background
and business people

00:25:45.252 --> 00:25:47.747
are constantly dealing with ROI.

00:25:47.747 --> 00:25:50.776
There's a quote and I
think this is your motto

00:25:50.776 --> 00:25:55.170
and that is, "the ROI of a human being

00:25:55.170 --> 00:26:00.170
far outweighs the ROI of
anything else in life."

00:26:00.880 --> 00:26:02.150
- Yeah.

00:26:02.150 --> 00:26:03.910
- Tell me, is that your motto or is that?

00:26:03.910 --> 00:26:06.050
- That is, that is.

00:26:06.050 --> 00:26:07.350
- Yes.
- That's actually,

00:26:08.450 --> 00:26:12.210
so I first started working
with a coach about 12 years ago

00:26:12.210 --> 00:26:15.660
when the coaching industry
was not industry really,

00:26:15.660 --> 00:26:17.680
or at least not what it was today.

00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:19.900
And it was my time working with her,

00:26:19.900 --> 00:26:22.014
shout out to Wendy Billie
if you're out there.

00:26:22.014 --> 00:26:24.602
I worked with her on
and off for two years.

00:26:24.602 --> 00:26:28.143
And it was when I had this aha moment

00:26:28.143 --> 00:26:30.360
working in the advertising field.

00:26:30.360 --> 00:26:33.130
So the original model was the
ROI of a human being outweighs

00:26:33.130 --> 00:26:35.230
the ROI of a marketing campaign

00:26:35.230 --> 00:26:36.690
'cause that I was working in advertising

00:26:36.690 --> 00:26:40.760
and I'm like, oh, this is
why I'm feeling such tension

00:26:40.760 --> 00:26:43.680
in the work that I'm doing
because I love the people

00:26:44.780 --> 00:26:46.993
but I don't care about the work.

00:26:47.950 --> 00:26:50.160
And at that point I knew I
wasn't gonna have children

00:26:50.160 --> 00:26:53.376
and I'm like, man, if, if this, you know,

00:26:53.376 --> 00:26:56.110
I gotta do something that fulfills me more

00:26:56.110 --> 00:26:59.470
if I'm gonna be doing
this for 40 hours a week

00:26:59.470 --> 00:27:03.991
every week until I'm, you
know, insert 65 or whatever.

00:27:03.991 --> 00:27:06.880
I have to be doing
something more fulfilling

00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:07.780
than what I'm doing now.

00:27:07.780 --> 00:27:09.770
So that's what led me into doing something

00:27:09.770 --> 00:27:11.810
more human centric which was HR

00:27:11.810 --> 00:27:14.446
which was 100% the right next step for me,

00:27:14.446 --> 00:27:17.135
just not the ultimate step for me.

00:27:17.135 --> 00:27:19.720
- It does sound as you have settled

00:27:19.720 --> 00:27:22.120
into something that really does tap

00:27:22.120 --> 00:27:26.110
into a number of your superpowers.

00:27:26.110 --> 00:27:27.460
Matter of fact, you've
got another superpower

00:27:27.460 --> 00:27:32.116
and that is to be able to
explain kind of the complex

00:27:32.116 --> 00:27:36.090
in a way that even I tended
to follow and I'm confident

00:27:36.090 --> 00:27:38.830
our listeners will be able to as well.

00:27:38.830 --> 00:27:39.663
- Good.
- So add that

00:27:39.663 --> 00:27:42.913
to your list of superpowers.
- Excellent, thank you.

00:27:42.913 --> 00:27:45.970
- You know, Julie as we reflect on,

00:27:45.970 --> 00:27:47.830
we've covered a number of things,

00:27:47.830 --> 00:27:51.083
but as you kind of reflect
on our conversation,

00:27:51.950 --> 00:27:54.130
what might be some closing thoughts

00:27:54.130 --> 00:27:57.333
or takeaways you wanna make
sure that our listeners have?

00:27:58.460 --> 00:27:59.293
- Yeah.

00:27:59.293 --> 00:28:02.990
And you know, I started to
get into it a little bit

00:28:02.990 --> 00:28:05.860
when you were talking
about me getting unstuck

00:28:05.860 --> 00:28:09.210
and I said I was able to tap
into, you know, my heart,

00:28:09.210 --> 00:28:10.769
my inner knowing, my intuition.

00:28:10.769 --> 00:28:13.367
I think what I want people to take away is

00:28:13.367 --> 00:28:16.153
I thought intuition was
something that people had

00:28:16.153 --> 00:28:17.500
or didn't have.

00:28:17.500 --> 00:28:20.460
I didn't realize it was
something we all could access.

00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:24.270
And I had put myself into the
unfortunate genetic pool of,

00:28:24.270 --> 00:28:25.493
I just don't have it.

00:28:26.839 --> 00:28:30.182
And it wasn't until I took a moment

00:28:30.182 --> 00:28:33.980
to get outta my head and into my body

00:28:33.980 --> 00:28:38.980
to really feel what my intuition

00:28:39.370 --> 00:28:41.753
has been guiding me to my entire life.

00:28:42.690 --> 00:28:46.663
I just, my ego in my head
weren't willing to listen.

00:28:47.550 --> 00:28:50.861
So I would just say out
there, if you all believe

00:28:50.861 --> 00:28:55.861
you aren't an intuitive
person, it's in you, I promise.

00:28:56.010 --> 00:28:59.760
You absolutely can access it.

00:28:59.760 --> 00:29:03.410
And going through programs
like building mental muscle

00:29:03.410 --> 00:29:04.560
is one way of doing it.

00:29:04.560 --> 00:29:06.700
It's not the only way,
but certainly one way

00:29:06.700 --> 00:29:07.807
to start accessing it.

00:29:07.807 --> 00:29:11.480
And it's an amazing thing
once you can tap into that,

00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:15.110
that inner knowing that truly
is and I said pulling you,

00:29:15.110 --> 00:29:17.253
'cause I think a lot of times
we're all like push yourself

00:29:17.253 --> 00:29:20.990
to the fullest or push yourself into doing

00:29:20.990 --> 00:29:22.270
the things you have to do or should you

00:29:22.270 --> 00:29:23.881
or you're afraid to do.

00:29:23.881 --> 00:29:26.150
And just because I'm pulled to something

00:29:26.150 --> 00:29:27.630
doesn't mean that it's easy.

00:29:27.630 --> 00:29:31.240
Like I'm certainly pulled to
challenging difficult things,

00:29:31.240 --> 00:29:34.670
but it's in a way that I want to go,

00:29:34.670 --> 00:29:36.870
it's in a direction that I know it's like,

00:29:36.870 --> 00:29:39.340
I have a desired, it's
like desire difficulty.

00:29:39.340 --> 00:29:41.600
Brene Brown calls it desire difficulty.

00:29:41.600 --> 00:29:44.681
And I truly know that
I wanna put the risk in

00:29:44.681 --> 00:29:49.100
and if I fail at it, I know
I wanna learn and try again.

00:29:49.100 --> 00:29:50.510
And that's all for my intuition

00:29:50.510 --> 00:29:53.230
that I just learned I could
access like two years ago.

00:29:53.230 --> 00:29:55.520
It's amazing thing.

00:29:55.520 --> 00:29:57.840
- But now you're telling the world.

00:29:57.840 --> 00:29:58.710
- Yeah.
- And,

00:29:58.710 --> 00:30:00.450
you've got another platform
I wanna make sure people

00:30:00.450 --> 00:30:02.079
know about and that is,
I've had opportunity

00:30:02.079 --> 00:30:07.079
to look at some of your Walk
My Talk videos on LinkedIn.

00:30:08.980 --> 00:30:09.890
- Yeah.

00:30:09.890 --> 00:30:11.600
- For those who have not had a chance

00:30:11.600 --> 00:30:14.101
to see one of these videos, tell us about

00:30:14.101 --> 00:30:17.900
what is it you're trying
to do with Walk My Talk.

00:30:17.900 --> 00:30:20.456
- Yeah, and I will say, although
you can still watch them,

00:30:20.456 --> 00:30:23.510
the Walk My Talk has
been recently retired.

00:30:23.510 --> 00:30:24.343
- Oh.
- However,

00:30:24.343 --> 00:30:26.250
I will talk about it.

00:30:26.250 --> 00:30:28.500
Believe me, this is part of my brand.

00:30:28.500 --> 00:30:30.550
So Walk My Talk was my weekly video series

00:30:30.550 --> 00:30:32.481
where I would take a chance and spin

00:30:32.481 --> 00:30:35.260
what I called the wheel of opportunities.

00:30:35.260 --> 00:30:37.850
And I would do whatever I
would land on either live

00:30:37.850 --> 00:30:39.310
or I would take on a challenge throughout

00:30:39.310 --> 00:30:40.620
the course of the week.

00:30:40.620 --> 00:30:42.150
And I did that because as a coach

00:30:42.150 --> 00:30:44.144
I'm constantly encouraging my clients to,

00:30:44.144 --> 00:30:49.020
you know, to stretch their comfort zone

00:30:49.020 --> 00:30:50.960
and do things that they wanna do

00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:52.350
but feel like they don't have time to do

00:30:52.350 --> 00:30:53.330
or maybe they're avoiding.

00:30:53.330 --> 00:30:56.920
And I wanted to show you that
I'm doing all those things

00:30:56.920 --> 00:30:59.789
and walking my talk alongside
my clients every single day.

00:30:59.789 --> 00:31:04.210
And this series has evolved
for a couple reasons.

00:31:04.210 --> 00:31:07.757
One, I was no longer pulled
to do it, it felt like a push.

00:31:07.757 --> 00:31:11.422
Every week, the final, I
would say three or four,

00:31:11.422 --> 00:31:15.452
hm, maybe a month and a
half, maybe six or seven,

00:31:15.452 --> 00:31:17.550
really felt like a push.
- Gotcha.

00:31:17.550 --> 00:31:21.330
- And so I wasn't connecting
to the why anymore

00:31:21.330 --> 00:31:24.070
and I actually had a really
great coaching session on it

00:31:24.070 --> 00:31:27.030
was because the why of it was yes,

00:31:27.030 --> 00:31:29.140
to show that I was, you
know, walking the talk,

00:31:29.140 --> 00:31:31.770
but it was also a form of entertainment.

00:31:31.770 --> 00:31:33.343
You know, I was spinning a wheel

00:31:33.343 --> 00:31:35.940
and I really wanted my
personality to come out,

00:31:35.940 --> 00:31:37.050
which I still absolutely do.

00:31:37.050 --> 00:31:39.366
But my new video series
which is yet to be named.

00:31:39.366 --> 00:31:42.550
So if anyone's got a good
name, like, let me know.

00:31:42.550 --> 00:31:44.720
But it's essentially
five minutes of coaching

00:31:44.720 --> 00:31:47.579
with me on a weekly basis
where I just tackle a topic

00:31:47.579 --> 00:31:52.579
and talk about my thoughts
on that topic as a coach.

00:31:52.660 --> 00:31:57.013
And I'm asking powerful
questions to viewers as well,

00:31:57.013 --> 00:31:59.700
and I'm answering those
powerful questions too.

00:31:59.700 --> 00:32:02.940
So my, of course, you're
putting me on the spot here.

00:32:02.940 --> 00:32:06.363
What was my latest topic on?

00:32:07.310 --> 00:32:10.550
Oh, it was actually about
similar to mental muscle.

00:32:10.550 --> 00:32:15.550
It was the quintessential
I'll be happy when syndrome.

00:32:16.461 --> 00:32:20.640
And I say it's related to mental muscle

00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:23.848
because the stronger our brains are,

00:32:23.848 --> 00:32:28.370
the less we need to say I'll
be happy when we do something.

00:32:28.370 --> 00:32:30.440
Instead we're happy along the path.

00:32:30.440 --> 00:32:33.210
We choose to be happy every day.

00:32:33.210 --> 00:32:34.800
So feel free to check that out.

00:32:34.800 --> 00:32:36.050
It's on my LinkedIn page.

00:32:36.050 --> 00:32:37.183
Julie Bronsteatter.

00:32:38.140 --> 00:32:39.610
- Well, that's exactly
what I was gonna ask you.

00:32:39.610 --> 00:32:41.530
So if folks wanna reach out to you-

00:32:41.530 --> 00:32:42.896
- Yeah.
- To connect,

00:32:42.896 --> 00:32:47.548
learn more about you, or get
queued up for this new series,

00:32:47.548 --> 00:32:49.771
what's the best way for them to do that?

00:32:49.771 --> 00:32:51.440
- So, two ways.

00:32:51.440 --> 00:32:53.570
I am very active on LinkedIn.

00:32:53.570 --> 00:32:56.250
II would say I'm posting
three to four times a week

00:32:56.250 --> 00:32:58.010
on LinkedIn so please connect with me.

00:32:58.010 --> 00:32:59.573
I would love to connect.

00:32:59.573 --> 00:33:01.450
And then I also have a website,

00:33:01.450 --> 00:33:05.770
just jbronsteattercoaching.com,
which I don't know,

00:33:05.770 --> 00:33:06.603
do we have show notes, Mike?

00:33:06.603 --> 00:33:07.500
Can we put that

00:33:07.500 --> 00:33:08.478
in the show notes.
- We do have show notes-

00:33:08.478 --> 00:33:09.311
- Excellent.
- But why don't you go ahead,

00:33:09.311 --> 00:33:10.990
if people are listening and they go, ah,

00:33:10.990 --> 00:33:13.200
I can commit Bronsteatter to memory.

00:33:13.200 --> 00:33:14.940
Do you wanna spell that for everybody?

00:33:14.940 --> 00:33:15.780
- Yes.

00:33:15.780 --> 00:33:20.780
It's J-B-R-O-N-S-T-E-A-T-T-E-R
coaching.com.

00:33:26.310 --> 00:33:28.090
- You do have a fantastic website.

00:33:28.090 --> 00:33:31.140
We will include links
not only to your website

00:33:31.140 --> 00:33:33.275
but also to your LinkedIn profile.

00:33:33.275 --> 00:33:34.264
- Thank you.

00:33:34.264 --> 00:33:38.180
- And anything else you wanna
include in those show notes

00:33:38.180 --> 00:33:41.112
we'll be happy to do so.

00:33:41.112 --> 00:33:43.765
Julie, it was through
LinkedIn you and I originally

00:33:43.765 --> 00:33:47.160
crossed paths and there is just the,

00:33:47.160 --> 00:33:51.149
there is an energy about you
that I picked up on that.

00:33:51.149 --> 00:33:55.982
And I'm somewhat selective on
how many coaches I invite on.

00:33:55.982 --> 00:33:59.850
And you clearly were the
kind of person who I thought

00:33:59.850 --> 00:34:02.750
would resonate with our listening audience

00:34:02.750 --> 00:34:04.370
and sure enough, you've done just that.

00:34:04.370 --> 00:34:06.580
- Thank you.
- I wanna thank you

00:34:06.580 --> 00:34:07.718
for being you.

00:34:07.718 --> 00:34:10.580
I wanna thank you for
your willingness to share

00:34:10.580 --> 00:34:15.430
from deep places and give
people a little bit of

00:34:15.430 --> 00:34:20.260
an insight of who you
are, how you got there,

00:34:20.260 --> 00:34:22.000
the fact that you continue learning

00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:26.209
and growing and how you help
your clients do the same.

00:34:26.209 --> 00:34:30.410
Thank you for sharing your
time and your insights today.

00:34:30.410 --> 00:34:31.450
- Thank you for having me Mike.

00:34:31.450 --> 00:34:32.500
This was so much fun.

00:34:33.710 --> 00:34:37.230
- I also wanna thank our
listeners for joining us today.

00:34:37.230 --> 00:34:39.490
We upload the latest episode to all

00:34:39.490 --> 00:34:40.883
the major platforms weekly.

00:34:40.883 --> 00:34:44.981
So if you haven't
already, please subscribe.

00:34:44.981 --> 00:34:47.980
Is your company growing quickly?

00:34:47.980 --> 00:34:49.920
Are you worried that you
don't have the right people

00:34:49.920 --> 00:34:53.840
and processes in place to
handle the increased workload?

00:34:53.840 --> 00:34:56.410
If yes, let's talk.

00:34:56.410 --> 00:34:59.600
Head to our website, bench-builders.com

00:34:59.600 --> 00:35:01.600
to schedule a quick call.

00:35:01.600 --> 00:35:04.534
We'll explore ways to help you
solve those nagging problems

00:35:04.534 --> 00:35:08.500
so you can scale faster and smarter.

00:35:08.500 --> 00:35:10.265
So I wanna thank you for joining us,

00:35:10.265 --> 00:35:12.852
and I hope you've picked
up some tips from Julie

00:35:12.852 --> 00:35:17.257
that'll help you get
unstuck and on target.

00:35:17.257 --> 00:35:18.503
Until next time.

00:35:20.012 --> 00:35:22.595
(mellow music)

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