Episode 11: Adopt a Brand Brilliance Mindset With Victoria Baylor

Mike O'Neill:  

Hello and welcome back to the Get Unstuck & On Target Podcast. I'm Mike O'Neil with Bench Builders, and we're speaking with thought leaders to uncover tips to help you break down the barriers that are keeping you or your business stuck.

Joining me today from Pooler, Georgia, which is just outside Savannah is Victoria Baylor. Welcome Victoria.

Victoria Baylor: Oh my goodness Mike, thank you so much for having me and thank you for all your watchers and listeners.

Mike O'Neill: Well, I'm looking forward to our time together for those who don't know, Victoria is a mindset and brand brilliance coach. She's an author and a TEDx speaker, and she has also been kind enough to be on our webinar earlier and our feedback from her session was so positive. I asked, would you please join us for this show? So I'm delighted you're with us, Victoria.

Victoria Baylor: Thank you so much. Good to be back.

Mike O'Neill: Well, you're a person I enjoy chatting, both as we're recording and when we're not recording, you're a delightful person.

And I think that folks that are going to be listening to this are going to really learn a lot. You know, I described yourself as a mindset and brand brilliance coach, but for those who don't know those terms, how do you describe that to others? What is it you do for clients?

Victoria Baylor: Well, simply put, I helped them figure out what they're extremely good at and how to leverage it and their business.

So as a mindset coach, I actually liked the duality of both roles. As a mindset coach, my job is helping clients overcome the mental blocks that they have. Most people don't realize those mental blocks are actually a majority of what they are thinking. A conscious thinking versus subconscious thinking.

You only are thinking about 5% of your brain or your thinking is actually conscious. Versus the 95% that is subconscious. So most of the mental blocks and fears, self-doubt, imposter syndrome struggles that entrepreneurs are facing. They don't even know they have.

So it's like an invisible wall. My job is to be the bulldozer to come in and knock that down and point it out and help give them that clarity so that they can actually move ahead in their business, by leaps and bounds.

And on the flip side of that, I get to once they are nice and clear and I can help them understand their strengths and what their area brilliance is actually helped them brand their brilliance. So I help them from a standpoint, we think of branding, which is all about controlling, or giving a strong impression of who you are and what you represent.

Well, that is pivotal and like paramount in business. So helping them really develop a strong brand presentation and identity is the next step in working with me. So I do offer one-on-one coaching group coaching, things of that nature that really provide and help them. In addition to that, I am a TEDx speaker and of course a teacher. So I like to balance all of those roles and help people as much as I can. I love my job.

Mike O'Neill: I appreciate you kind of explaining kind of the sequence that you typically follow. And I was particularly intrigued to hear you describe that it starts with the client having a clearer understanding of who they are.

And what they may be particularly gifted in. I think he referred to it as what might be their brilliance. Is that the right term?

Victoria Baylor: Yeah. I like to call it their brand brilliance, but yes, it typically it really is their brilliance. And one thing I didn't mention is the whole goal is to help my clients shine.

So that is an acronym for me, that stands for showcase their unique expert, their showcase, their brand expertise. Highlight their unique value, ignite their, that their dynamic confidence. Never back down from here and then help them expect maximum compensation. And when you're shining is so it's just like a diamond.

It mean people can't help, but notice. But getting people to a place where they can really own their expertise. See what makes them very unique. Have them, you know, see fear as a feedback versus fear as an impediment and, you know, so they can't move forward.

And then just having them push forward in their competence, getting them to that place and then having them be in paid and compensated for it.

That is always a tricky five steps. So working with clients one-on-one again, closely allows them to really help polish that diamond because in my world everybody's a diamond. Everybody is uniquely gifted. They are amazing.

But half the time they don't realize that. My job is to polish, like I said, the heck out of them. Help them see just that and then help them confidently step forward and building a business and showcasing who they are.

So it really makes a difference when people can see their own shine, that allows them to have the competence to shine better in front of their colleagues and their ideal clients.

Mike O'Neill: Victoria you described that it starts with self-awareness and then I, this is not the term you use, but once they understand themselves better than they also need to embrace it, there are things in which with maybe a little bit of work, they can really shine.

You'd mentioned something about the, kind of the roadblocks that we maybe subconsciously put in our own paths. Can you elaborate about what is it? What is it we say to ourselves they oftentimes is self-defeating

Victoria Baylor: Well, you know, so the thing is we pick up these, do you think about affirmations are really great statements and decorations of the good you want to accomplish?

But on the flip side, unfortunately we live in a world where we're constantly picking up messages and sometimes it's not even just, we created a message for ourselves. We're hearing it out in the community. We're hearing that some people we love most, you know, why start that business? You'll never make it, or, you know, no one's going to buy from you or who's going to pay attention to you?

So you have the external messages. And then on the flip side, you also have oftentimes those internal messages that, you know, when. You unfortunately suffer maybe a failure or suffer a defeat, then that inner negative voice starts to kick in and says, you can't do this again, all you're going to mess up or maybe you've done it several times and you're just a perpetual failure.

So again, without being consciously aware, it's easy to adopt those messages and they play like a tape recording in the back of your mind. And that's why it's so important to cultivate mindfulness as it's called, which is being consciously aware of what thoughts are being perpetuated.

So if you go to write an email and all of a sudden you have this kickback, don't write it. No, one's gonna listen to it and no one's going to read it.

You want to think, why am I having this hesitation? Why am I having this block? Why can't I take action? Why am I struggling? Thinking about what do you, what you're thinking about is the first step to realize that, okay, my thoughts are in alignment with where I want to go.

I need help with this. And oftentimes it's not something you really can help yourself. So getting a really great coach, getting a really great mentor, and that's why I like to help as really pivotal and helping. Because again, most of those blocks they happen like you think about the speed of a thought, it happens so fast.

Most people don't even realize it's happening.

Mike O'Neill: You know, we I've kind of wanted to dig a little bit deeper on that cause I want to make sure I had a good understanding of that foundation. That that's how you start with your clients and then you move them to kind of recognizing that they as individuals have a brand, a personal brand, and I believe you try to help your clients define that in, elaborate in play to those opportunities where they can shine. Am I understanding that correctly?

Victoria Baylor: Absolutely. Absolutely. And what I want to point out is what's a very unique take on people is what I tell my clients is, everyone has a, kind of a, a makeup. They have a structure to who they are.

If you look at like Myers-Brigg and really subscribed to that, there's actually different personality types. What's very interesting is that I have a very unique philosophy on weakness. Because I believe a lot of people spend way too much time thinking about their weakness and trying to conform that into a strength.

But there's a flip side thought on that.

A lot of our weaknesses come from our strengths and excess, and most people don't realize that. So for instance, I'm working with a client is highly altruistic. That is part of her makeup. She's very focused on helping other people. If that strength kicks in excess, what do you think the problems are for her?

She's not paying attention to herself. She's not having any boundaries. She's letting people run over her. So my job is to help really kind of get people back into calibration and allow them to use their strengths in such a beneficial way where it's not actually creating a problem for them.

It's actually helping them build up a strong brand identity and actually allowing them to infuse that into their business so people can see the value that they have to offer and that value isn't tainted by any negativity, that's rising up at the same time. So to your point, as you asked, it's really about taking their strengths and it's not just their strengths.

My gosh, there's so many different elements to every single person you're talking about their talents. Those are things that they're born with. No one taught them. Passions. Perspectives, education, so many different elements. A lot of people don't know how to take all of those dynamics and mold it into a brand identity, a brand message.

And my job is, which is what I love. And it really does stem back from my analytical abilities and my background in research science and some other things I had going. I can see all those puzzle pieces and I can put them together and actually create a picture. And having a strong identity and ideology. So that people can actually see that. And when your values align with their values, they actually are drawn to you, but most people don't know what they stand for so securely and so strongly that it's hard for them to promote themselves. Because they don't have that strong brand identity. And they don't know really what angle do they need to step out in the market.

That's going to get them the most viewership and the most attention.

Mike O'Neill: Victoria, you were able to express yourself so well to explain complex things in a way that I'm following. And I trust that our listeners are as well. I suspect that is one reason why you were asked to be a TEDx speaker. Can you tell us a little bit about that experience and what you might've learned from that experience?

Victoria Baylor: Oh, my gosh, that experience, first of all, was magical because I had actually applied for TEDx the year before and had been denied, which is fine. It was actually a good thing because at that time I was able to kind of rally. I was doing my own. I'd like to be honest about stuff, especially with my clients, with my own inner workings of, okay, I'm a coach, I'm doing this.

This is great. I'm seeing women really, their lives being changed. Like I just need to own this. And make this, my mainstay. So by that time, I've really just settled into my coaching business. And I said, okay, TEDx was off. Well, they had open call again, and it is kind of funny because I actually wasn't going to apply. And it was the last two hours. And I looked at my husband and I said, "Well, do you think I should?"

Because by that time, it wasn't about really trying to grab onto something like TEDx to define me. I had already been defined and, and I've been defined by the work. I feel like that I've been called to do that.

God has perked me to do so. I was really kind of just not trying to look for anything to, you know, define me. And that goes back kind of to my background, which is what my TEDx talk ended up being about. Which is having these different roles and being so focused on defining yourself by those roles versus knowing who you are.

So needless to say, I did apply in the last two hours. And if you, I think a few weeks later I was, I had just finished a session with the client. I looked down at my computer and I saw two words. I was like, did, I didn't think needs to belong together, which was congratulations and TEDx. And I remember like, just kinda like throwing my laptop in the air and thank God I caught it.

And then I like cried 10 minutes straight because I always loved TEDx. I love thought leaders. I love ideas. I mean, one idea can change your life. Which is why I like to teach and I love to inspire and connect with people. But the whole process was actually amazing. It was really difficult to kind of whittle down on an idea of what I wanted to present, but the meeting itself was perfect.

It was my, my ideal client, which are females. I do work with some men, but it was really about the bold and the brilliant. That was the title. And it was about helping women.

So I thought of how can I present something and on what topic would it be very helpful? And I had to look at myself.  And I think that's an amazing thing, which I help clients do because we sometimes ask, how can I help people around me?

And what's crazy is the answer is actually in you. It's in your experiences and your perspectives. And, but we don't give credibility to it. You're like, no, I need to be that rock star. I need to be this person, but it's in you, your story, all of that. So I do what I do for my clients. Now I did my own deep dive and I said, okay, I get all my story.

And I had to go back and tell my story of how I struggled. I've always been a highly accomplished female, but I never really knew who I was. I always had, you know, attached my worth to what role I was playing. So when the role didn't no longer fit, I kind of lost my identity. So my TEDx talk is you are who you are not what you do.

But the great thing is I was able to reclaim myself because I did the deep dive work I had never done — which is figure out what makes Victoria tick. And when I did that. Oh my gosh. That was amazing. That's when I settled on, okay. I am definitely a coach.

Personal development is my jam it's what I've been doing since I was a kid. Explains why everybody would always ask me questions and always ask me for advice. And it was just really great. But my background was actually in — not to be long-winded — was actually in research science. And the reason I got confused was since I was eight years old, I always wanted to be a Marine biologist and I love it.

I ran after that, that goal, I actually achieved my degree, got into a microbial ecology science for 15 years, but that's where I lost myself. Because again, I saw myself eight years old. This is what I'm supposed to do. This is my life, but I never took the time needed to understand Victoria.

So when I got the time to understand myself, I realized there is an element I've always had.

It's a theme in my life. I've always been interested in what happens under the surface of things. The ocean was just one aspect of that, but I've always been interested in what happens on the surface of people. And I've always been able to connect and probably to some degree, a lot better even than just the sciences — people make sense to me.

So it was just amazing coming full circle, using my gifts. And now my job is helping invigorate people and help them use theirs as well.

Mike O'Neill: I have the benefit of I'm watching you as we record this and your eyes just kind of light up as you begin kind of explaining this journey. You know, the name of this podcast is get unstuck and on target and what you're describing here, it sounds in many respects that though you have had a successful career, it sounds in so many words that you concluded, you didn't know yourself.

And as a result, did you feel personally kind of stuck.

Victoria Baylor: Oh, absolutely. But, well, so I knew myself up into a point to be fair, but what happens is when you don't really have strong roots and like really knowing yourself deeply, the winds of life flow. And when things blow your way. And what I didn't mention based on my personality type perfectionism was just an issue I always struggle with. It was just kind of more self-imposed. It is part of my personality.

So I've, I didn't even know that was an issue. So when I ended up in an environment like research, which is, I mean, we don't even know what we're doing. We're testing things. I would take those disappointments and failures as personal hits. Like it was something wrong with me.

And if you can imagine, we can chop it at an oak tree long enough with an ax, it's gonna have some dents in it.

So had I known now that that does not define me. I'm not defined by my failures. I'd be a whole different person, but that is the point when you don't really know who you are and what you're working with, you tend to define yourself by everything that's happening around you, what people say and what they don't say.

And I just, I remember specifically, when I was younger in high school, I graduated top of my class and same thing for college. And I remember specifically that I would get up at like four in the morning and go study. And I didn't have parents that pressured me in a very humble upbringing. My mother was a homemaker. My dad was army army dad. So it was a military brat.

But I always had this drive that it was driven by two words. What if? What if you do great on this test? What would happen? What if you push it to the limit and studying what would happen? And because of my own internal curiosity and drive, I did very well.

What was interesting about that question is that in years past that question turned on me. So instead of having that curiosity and that zest and that drive to be Victoria, go get it. Let's tackle this.

What if became "what if you fail", "what if you say something stupid and people look at you", what if, and it's like, I lost my, what if?

And I remember a document that in part of the chapter I wrote in the book compilation. So it was pretty amazing when I finally got to the bottom of myself and I lost my confidence. Same person, same gifts. That's why I tell my clients like your gifts haven't gone anywhere. They're just laying dormant because you can't see them because you're looking at all the negativity.

And when I got, when I pulled myself out of that hole and I start rediscovering myself. I kind of get what, because my wife came back and boy, she came back really fierce. She was like, what if you do this? And you do super well, what if you do this and you really help people. And then I find myself slowly but surely years ago when I was coming out of all that, just taking those steps.

And then those steps became jogging and then jogging became running and it's like, Oh my gosh, I found Victoria again. So when I work with people, I work with them on such a deep level that it really is about them. I helped them find themselves.

I was working with a political candidate and she's amazing. She's running against all these Ivy league guys. She's female. She's like I can't do this, you know, I'm just the wife of military spouse. And when we went and started combing through all our experiences for education, all this stuff. Nothing outside changed, but we changed here. And I remember when I got a call from her she's I was terrified to speak in front of, on a mic.

She's I just heard your voice, that's where I just yanked that mic right out their hand. I started talking. And what's crazy, is she hadn't put it down since. She got elected. She's serving well. Every time I see her, I smile and she motions a thank you. But I always tell people I don't make diamonds. I did not give her any of her gifts.

All I did was help her see this. She always had them. So that is the beauty of people. I was like, you know, people's gifts are God's job. I don't make diamonds. I just polish them. But that is the beauty that happens. When you find yourself, it takes you to a whole different level in how you self identify and how you step out strong in your brand identity to all those around you.

Mike O'Neill: This is very interesting. As I'm listening to you describe how you helped a client recognize that she was a diamond and you help her kind of find her voice. You describe how TEDx you didn't use this term, but it really sounds like the TEDx experience was a blessing for you because it gave you an opportunity to step back and really review who you are and where things are. And to ask that question, what if. To what extent has that prepared you for your as a business owner? And we have, as you know, our listeners are leaders. They may be owning business. They may be running businesses. So from the perspective of a leader, you as a business owner, leading your own business, how might you begin.

Kind of tie in some of the things we've talked about too, how you've applied this to your own business.

Victoria Baylor: Oh, that's a great, great question. Essentially from that standpoint, you know, the, and just kind of backtrack just a second for the TEDx thing. I think what TEDx really gave me was a stage to — because I'd done the work prior to that — it gave me a stage to finally share that to other people and share it with them, which is really great and help them see for themselves and ask that question. My do I really know  who I am.

But as far as how I apply it in business, it's very simple. I'm a very... one of the great things I think I like about myself. And this is why it's important to know yourself on every angle. When I say I've taken literally probably like every personality assessment and, and I'm highly analytical anyway.

So I noticed what most people miss is very simple for me, and this is why and how I help clients. It's really important to be succinct in business. Boundaries is a beautiful thing. If you think about it, the ocean comes up so far on the beach and then it goes out.

We know what happens when boundaries are broken in that regard, there's a hurricane there's devastation. Boundaries are important within your business and scope of how you frame yourself.

So, as I tell my clients, if it's not speaking, teaching, or coaching, which are things I'm exceptionally skilled at, I won't do it. Because it's all about energy management. And doing, doing what will give you the greatest ROI?

If my question every day is "God, how can I help the most amount of people?" It will do me no good to do things that where I'm only mediocre.

I want to do things where I super excel. That's why it's really important to do the deep dive, because if it doesn't, when you have a strength or you're super skilled at something, it is, it really doesn't even take much effort. I mean, I can coach seven people a day and not even break sweat.

You know, I like my breaks and which makes some time he go some real heavy stuff would be trauma coach and things like that. But when you're gifted at something, it doesn't phase you, your brain just works with it. And I find that a lot of business owners are working against how they're wired and just like just kind of slow, swim up stream is not going to work for you.

So my advice is which I give to clients that I readily follow now and appreciate, has to be very clear on where your strengths lie, focus on those. Second of all is be clear on how you define yourself and you want to do it. I think the problem is that people dilute their personal definition. They're looking at one trait, one, this.

We are complex people.

And I think the beauty is in the entanglement of the complexity. When you're looking at the theme of someone like who they are, what have they experienced? What's their background?

 That's why I always tell my clients. You are your greatest asset in business. It's not your product or service. Because if you're just relying on your product or service, if people get tired of you, they can find that product and service somewhere else, but when people kind of latch in and they like you and they like your philosophy and they like what you represent, that's a whole different ball game, but you have to be going to put that together and present it to them in a palatable form.

So they can really understand who you are and get a good understanding for your dynamics. So having that kind of clarity is also important. And then I think I have to say anything is managing everything else around you. Because I am a wife and mother, I I didn't just drop those two roles.

And, you know, I do work with entrepreneurial women who are the same, and it can be very tricky to try to balance the business, which is oftentimes like a newborn baby. 'Til you get it out of the stage of infancy. And I remember those newborn baby times where it was like shower or eat. You're not getting both and I nursed too.

So it was like really involved. But for the woman that can't know how to juggle, that can be overwhelming. So it's really about getting those priorities straight and not trying to think of your life in terms of balance.

I really do think that's a curse word cause me from a logical standpoint, balanced means everything gets equal parts and there's no inner world that happens.

There's been times where I could not clean my house. I mean, it wasn't filthy. Thank God. It wasn't as immaculate as I wanted because this week I needed to do this and it really is about being okay up here.

This is the battleground right here. The things we tell ourselves and the things we think has to happen in order for us to be happy.

And that's why I think COVID in a weird way as horrible as it's been. In an odd way for you to see a glimmer of a blessing. I think a lot of things that people define themselves with that they thought they needed when they realized they had to think of another way, or they'd be, had to be closer with family members or you had as a result, you know, settle with board games on Friday night versus going out across the town.

It really probably reshaped the way people saw what they really need it to be happy. And so many people have access. And they're just, it's overwhelming them. So it's really about, I do have, I do take a holistic approach to my coaching, where it's looking at the person, helping bring out the best in them, helping them put up great boundaries, helping them stay focused on what their goals are, and then just help them rapidly reach those. While at the same time, maintaining that sense of internal contentment and happiness.

And that can be a juggling. That can be very interesting at times, but it's completely doable and I'm happy to live a life where I get to showcase that.

Mike O'Neill: Victoria, this has been a very rich conversation. If you were to kind of step back and reflect on what you've shared with us today, what might be the takeaways that you want to make sure that our listeners have made sure they've heard from our time together.

Victoria Baylor: Oh, my gosh. My first one is of course, the whole goal of the us talking together, which is take time to get to know you. I can't tell you how difficult that is for people.

They spend all their time, even to other people really be selfish with your time of self-improvement. And then to spend time every week, making sure you are pouring back into yourself.

You know, we're not an endless supply as a cup. You know, we pour out so much, but who's pouring into us. And you can't rely on someone else to do. You have to do it for yourself, so get to know yourself.

The other thing is don't look around you. Don't negate the qualities of you, your experiences, your talents, your time.

So it's easy to be dismissive and it's not intentional. It's just, we have oftentimes this blind spot, there's a, principal's called Johari window where you can't see your own good and other people see it for you. But just take some time to ask other people, what am I good at? Really strengthened the ideas we have about yourself and your capabilities.

And then lastly, I would say, is that. Think in terms of your mindset, what are you thinking about all day? When you go to do something like really focused, keep a journal, think about the first thought that comes into your head, write it down. And really if this, if it's seeming very toxic and you want to do some stuff to correct that type of thinking.

And then think about lastly, what as a brand, are you presenting to people. As far as the message, what do people think about you? What impression are you making? And you want to make sure the feedback that you get going ask some people, it matches your intentions.

Because the worst thing is you intending to come across a certain way or intending to present yourself in your expertise in a certain way, and then it doesn't get perceived.

And then that just creates an issue that prevents your ideal client from knowing, liking, and trusting you. And if they don't know, like, trust you, they're likely not to spend money with you or use your services or product. So just important to kind of, as you can tell, a lot of what I do is really focused on the business owner.

And I can't oftentimes that's the last person that gets focused on is usually external. So my job is to making it more internal and helping people see themselves and operate on a greater level so they can have A) more success in business. But also more personal satisfaction as well.

Mike O'Neill: Victoria, you did a masterful job of kind of packaging up everything that we've talked about.

The gift wrap is neatly done, but you put a bow on top of it by that last set of responses. I appreciate your willingness to do that. Hey, for folks who want to reach out to you, what's the best way for our listeners to connect with you online.

Victoria Baylor: Oh, well, I am so branded, so that's super easy. Just remember my name.

You can go to www.victoriabaylor.com. You can email me at victoria@victoriabaylor.com. All of my social media handles are under my name minus Twitter, which is D as in Denise, my middle name for that @VictoriaDBaylor. And I'm pretty approachable. Feel free if you have a question, thought insight and you want to share, I would love to hear from you.

So don't hesitate to reach out.

Mike O'Neill: We will include your contact information in the show notes. So just know that that will be provided when you download this episode. Victoria, thank you.

Victoria Baylor: Thank you so much, Mike. You were just, you know, I sing your praises. You're just an amazing person. Thank you so much for what you're doing and all the insights you're providing your audience. I mean, you're just your superb.

Mike O'Neill: I do appreciate you saying just that. And for our listeners, I want to thank our listeners as well for joining us for this episode of Get Unstuck & On Target. We've lined up great thought leaders like Victoria.

And I'm sure you'll enjoy getting to know, and we are uploading the latest episode every Thursday. So I hope you will subscribe to this podcast and invite other leaders to do the same. The easiest way is to go to your browser and type unstuck.show again, unstuck.show. Or you can go to our website, which is bench-builders.com.

So I want to thank our listeners for joining us. I hope you've picked up some tips that will help you get unstuck and on target. Until next time.